Happy Meals, Hoppy Trails, and Tasty Ales

By Ian Guevara

The temperature is cooling down. I touch the driver side window, a technique taught to me by Mr. Groome to gauge the temperature outside. It's cooler, much cooler.

I check the compass app on my phone as I navigate an interstate weaving in and around mountain passes. 2,600 ft. The cooler temperatures are one of the many benefits of being in the mountains. It invigorates me. A second wind. One that will fill my sails for only a short time here in Asheville. What adventures will I find? What treasures will I discover? Who will I meet? What stories will I divine?

Who knows?

What I do know is that it's only two in the afternoon and I can’t check into the AirBnB until after four. It’s ok, I planned for this. A few weeks back I searched for breweries in the immediate area of my AirBnB. Sweeten Creek Brewing bounced on Apple Maps, like one of Pennywise’s balloons beckoning me to join. Who am I to resist such temptation when it comes to beer?

I let the phone guide me, trusting its inconsistent navigation skills.

I’m not going to lie, I am full of anxious anticipation. This is the first time I’ve been in Asheville in close to 30 years. The last time I was here I was enamored: the town had a Lowe’s. A big blue building hidden mysteriously behind a row of pines with a massive parking lot full of cars like a miniature amusement park. I had no idea what it was, but I wanted to go.

“It’s just a big hardware store like a Home Depot,” Mr. Groome stated at the time, shattering my dreams of some sort of mountain Wal-Mart, but better, filled with toys and fun.

30 years later, I’m still allowing my imagination to run wild. This time with anticipation of what’s to come on this six night jaunt into the East Coast Beer Mecca. I’m flying solo too, no one to shoot down my more exaggerated stories, ideas, or plans. No one to regulate me. Let’s see how much self control I truly have.

None. It has been, is, and forever will be none. No self control. It escapes me the second I think I caught it like its Bugs Bunny and my will power is Elmer Fudd.

I walk into Sweeten Creek Brewing and my man-child attention span is immediately drawn to the row of McDonald's Happy Meal toys lined up on the bar.

What a time it was to be a kid in the 90s, without a doubt the best era of fast food kids meal toys. All of the different fast food places had toys. McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and even Taco Bell. While there was a steady competition between mainly McDonald’s and Burger King, the old clown reigned supreme.

Burger King, however, had the crown briefly in the late 90s when Pokemon dominated the airwaves. Each kids meal came with a Pokeball containing a different Pokemon and stat card inside. If you were lucky, you received the surprise golden card of Mewtwo. Childhood obesity rose rapidly in 1999.

Burger King’s reign was short-lived. The plastic balls containing those little anime monsters were deemed choking hazards. Burger King sent out a recall and wiped out the dreams of every child trying to catch all the pokemon including the rarest pokemon of all, diabetes.

Regardless, McDonald’s produced by far the best toys. It had a near monopoly on Warner Brothers, Disney, and any other intellectual property that wanted to sell itself to the fast food giant for marketing purposes. It worked. Micky Ds had it all, Batman toys, Ninja Turtle toys, Power Ranger toys, and Looney Tunes toys when there wasn’t a movie to promote.

By far the best sets came from The Mighty Ducks cartoon series and Space Jam, the one with Bill Murray. The Mighty Ducks were hockey pucks with a different character driving it like a car. The toys truly served no better purpose than to be paperweights. I wanted them all. Space Jam, on the other hand, offered “fitness” toys with Michael Jordan’s face plastered all over them. Opening a happy meal could reveal a frisbee, a mini basketball or football, and even a jump rope. I desperately wanted the frisbee… I always got the jump rope.

The bar here at Sweeten Creek Brewing has some of the newer toys, none of the classics, but still enough to rouse nostalgia and memories.

Located off Sweeten Creek Road only a mile or two from downtown Asheville, Sweeten Creek Brewing offers a wonderful setting for brews, BBQ, and recreation. Before I even stepped inside I was wowed by the expansive recreational park next to the brewery. An outstretched green field, dotted with shady trees, and a little bar in the middle for those who wish to have their beer under the heavens.

Inside, the tap room is modern and inviting housing a wooden bar replete with McDonald’s toys and a jovial, knowledgeable, and courteous staff behind it. The brewery provides over 15 different brews with a rotating selection, I assume depending on whatever witchcraft the brewers are into.

I kept telling myself, only two flights, Ian, you have to check in to the AirBnB and you have to moderate yourself.

Yeah. Sure.

My first flight shimmered with “Mexican Lager”, “Honey Bear”, “Picnic Party”, and “Ashecill”. I’m so happy that Mexican Lagers are making a comeback. More than half the breweries I’ve visited so far have produced a Mexican Lager in some form whether it be light or dark. In this instance Sweeten Creek Brewing’s Mexican Lager displays a hay colored with a light biscuit smell. It’s crispy, possessing a light malt start with a slight spicy hint to end making it a great summer beer to enjoy the outdoors. Honey Bear is a Belgian Blonde Ale displaying a Honey color and a muted hop aroma. It starts with a light and roasty malt flavor and a muted hoppy finish.

The name “Picnic Party” just screams “outside beer”. It’s not false advertising. A Pilsner showcasing a Daffodil color and a bready fragrance, Picnic Party is light and crispy with a sweet start and muted hoppy end. Perfect beer to sip while sitting on a blanket or letting your toes rummage through lush grass. Ashechill is a New England Style IPA possessing the signature mellow yellow NEIPA color and the classic citrus and hoppy hazy scent. It's a JUICY Hazy IPA starting sweet and tropical and a balanced bitterness to follow.

My second flight consisted of “Summer Sun”, “Pineapple Pale Ale”, “Stout Season”, and “Blueper Patch”. Summer Sun stole the show. A Spiced Wit parading a soft hay color and a spicy wheat aroma. It’s light, crispy, and tart possessing a sweet and citrus start and muted spiciness that's persistent and delectable. A lovely airy beer that's perfect for outside.

Pineapple Pale Ale paced not far behind Summer Sun. A Pale Ale revealing an apricot color and a splendid pineapple smell. Pineapple Pale Ale starts with a stunning sweet pineapple punch and finishes with a dainty balanced bitterness.

Stout Season is a tasty Milk Stout exhibiting an opaque and brown with a liquorice scent. It starts with a DOPE chocolate punch and a smooth malty finish. Blueper Patch in another New England Style IPA with the addition of blueberry and lactose. Revealing a bumblebee color with a sweet blueberry punch to the nostrils, Blueper Patch starts super sweet with a blueberry pop and a bitter aftertaste masked by the lactose subtleness.

Sweeten Creek Brewing is open from noon to 9pm Tuesday through Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday and on Friday from noon to 10pm. The brewery offers tasty beers, delicious BBQ, and an outdoor park rife with relaxation, occasional music, and a scenic look over the brewery’s namesake. With a courteous and knowledgeable staff you never feel welcomed and will always have a place to rest worries and Happy Meal toys.