Big Ideas, Beach Shanties, and Bold Brews
By Ian Guevara
“Pickle, where are you going to sleep?” we asked, baffled by the arrival of Shawn “Picklescoop” upon the small beach at Fontainebleau State Park.
It was a mild November in south Louisiana. Not that it ever gets tremendously cold… ever… but it was unseasonably warm and we were all finding it hard to get comfortable in our tents the previous evening. The shifting and turning in a warm tent compounded with the expectation of some decently cool weather is disheartening to even the most seasoned camper.
That weekend we gathered performing our normal summer camp staff duties for a few hundred soon-to-be boy scouts. A herculean effort that is only achieved by the endless stamina of high school aged young men. We organized activities, corralled cub scouts like border collies, taught skills, entertained, served lunch, shot a promotional video to “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats, and planned a pretty epic campfire rife with skits, jokes, and songs.
Yet even in the utter exhaustion of this long Saturday, we still struggled to find comfort on that balmy November night. That is until Pickle arrived. Our excitement was barely contained by the impromptu arrival of a camp staff legend.
Picklescoop is not just a camp staff legend, he’s a legendary local New Orleans podcaster hosting the now defunct “Picklescoop Podcast”. Recently he’s shifted his focus from his comedy podcast, interviewing local rock musicians, comedians, and other fringe entertainers to one focused on the most culturally relevant aspect of New Orleans: Mardi Gras. “Tales From The Parade Route” is a podcast series dedicated to Mardi Gras parades and the stories that come from the reverie of parading while also diving into the history of the parading in New Orleans.
With a smile, Pickle pulled out a slightly tattered blue tarp rolled up and wrapped in equally tattered nylon ropes.
“A beach-front shanty,” he responded. Pickle rolled out the tarp, searched the beach, found two pieces of driftwood to serve as poles, creased the tarp into a “L” and scutteled into it like a hermit crab finding its shell.
Seeing this as inspiration, we all grabbed our own tarps and rolled them out on the beach, tickled by the idea of sleeping on the beach like a surf bum. What’s more, the beach provided a soft place to sleep and carried a cool breeze off the lake. We were beyond excited to finally get a full night’s rest.
Sand fleas. We did not anticipate the presence of sand fleas. The next morning we looked like the epicenter of a mini smallpox outbreak. Covered in welts and red bumps from head to toe with dark circles under our eyes we broke camp and retreated home with memories of a great weekend and running inside jokes about owning a “beachfront shanty”.
Innovation is the most important trait learned in scouting. Being able to make something out of nothing. It’s an attribute my longtime scouting friends and I often discuss years removed from scouting and camping. The simple skills we learned as kids, tying knots, hitches, and lashes, building “camp gadgets”, even down to meal planning, and itinerary construction are all skills we use today in our everyday lives. We didn't realize and appreciate it at the time, naturally, but most of the people I camp with today as an approaching middle-aged adult share these same traits and qualities.
Countless examples of innovation in my life, whether it be recreational like camping, or professionally like in the office, are directly attributed to those years spent in that silly khaki and green uniform. However, my mind always reverts back to that balmy November night on the beach where Pickle constructed his preposterous beachfront shanty.
Ian being ridiculous in a khaki and green uniform
It’s a running tagline of mine by now, but it’s true and must be restated: every beer tells a story. As I sip the crispy and hoppy brews at Innovation Brewing along a babbling creekside with a few of my old scouting friends, the brewery's namesake and its delicious concoctions send me into these memories.
Located on Main Street in the heart of downtown Sylva, Innovation Brewing Company offers a dizzying array of over 20 libations to satiate both the weary traveler and local. Additionally a pizza place offering crispy and cheese pies and a food truck dishing out typical bar fare provide a perfect venue to relax and enjoy an afternoon under the sun. Opening in 2013, Innovation’s growth is only beginning, expanding beyond its downtown Sylva confines reaching into nearby Dillsboro and Cullowhee. It’s a relaxing site with a friendly staff and a lovely look over Scott Creek. The only difficulty is choosing which beers to enjoy.
My first flight flowed with “Afternoon Delight”, “Tangerine and Passion Fruit Tart”, “Soulvation”, “Sylva Haze”, and “Apricot and Peach Belgian Blonde”. Afternoon Delight is one of this brewery's signature light beers, showing a hay color with a bready scent. It’s a classic blonde ale that's dry and light from end to start. Tangerine and Passion Fruit Tart is an Ale displaying a dandelion color and a sweet fragrance. The tangerine and tropical flavor starts delightfully and finishes with a refreshing tartiness. Soulvation is a Tropical IPA possessing an old gold color with a tropical smell. It's sweet and fruity to start with a powerful bitter finish.
It’s a running joke now. I used to detest IPAs. I never really appreciated the signature hoppy bitterness. As I taste beer after beer (148 different tasting as of now in this journey), I’m now beginning to understand the appeal of the IPA. It’s not my go-to, but it’s certainly something I no longer skip.
Sylva Haze it Innovation’s delightful New England Style IPA, showcasing the signature hazy mellow yellow beer with a classic hazy IPA scent. It’s sweet, hoppy, and fruity to start with a punchy bitterness. Apricot and Peach Belgian Blonde is a Belgian Blonde appearing Butter colored with a yeasty and citrus smell. The brew is sweet to start with a pleasant bitter aftertaste.
I recently watched an episode of Master Chef where Gordon Ramsey shamelessly lied on national television claiming that he likes vegan food. Not that there isn’t anything wrong with Vegan food, but we all saw it: he was clearly fibbing. Regardless, Ramsey showed the home cooks the techniques involved in preparing vegan Roast Beet Wellington. Beets… in a “Wellington”... Naw fam. Beets are not acceptable in any circumstance save two: Super Mario 2 and as an additional nuance to a beer. Which is what Innovation does very well with one of the brews in my next flight.
The second flight shined with “Beet and Basil”, “Sour Red”, “Hoppy Bett”, “Phat Chance”, and “Bear Lake”. Beet and Basil, a lovely Saison, was the hero of the day parading a light ruby color with a stunning floral fragrance. It’s light, airey, crispy and sweet to start, finishing with an indescribably pleasant floral and earthy taste. Sour Red is a puckering Sour revealing a dark caramel color with sour punch scent. It's sour and tarty from beginning to end with a sweet finish. Hoppy Brett is a blueberry hinted Brett Ale expressing a gold color with a sweet and hoppy aroma. It’s light and crispy with a subtle blueberry taste and muted bitterness.
Phat Chance is an Amber Ale manifesting a Bronze in color with a malty fragrance. It starts with a caramel flavor followed by slight maltiness. Bear Lake is a Brown Ale flaunting a Spice color with an enticing malty scent. It’s malty from beginning to end, classic Brown ale, very tasty and stunningly smooth.
Innovation Brewing Company’s Sylva location is open Monday through Thursday from Noon to Midnight and Friday through Sunday from 11am to Midnight. Great hours for a small-town brewery… shoot, not even Asheville breweries are open that late! The brewery provides an excellent atmosphere for drinking and eating away the troubles of a hard day.
Don't miss out on the innovative beers and the stories they tell!
Address:
Innovation Brewing Company
414 W Main St
Sylva, NC 28779
Social Media:
http://www.innovation-brewing.com/
https://www.facebook.com/innovationbrewing/
Biggie Smalls, Snow Balls, and Balsam Falls
By Ian Guevara
“Uh hey bro, Biggie is the same person as Notorious BIG,” I stated with drunken confidence to an obvious musical philistine. It wasn’t the deciding points, we were ahead by more than 100 to the closest team, but winning means nothing if you aren't dominant.
Trivia night always brings out the competitive juices, especially in the motley crew I gathered for this competition of who has the larger repository of useless knowledge. Our team consisted of Chad, Louis, Jonathan, Olivia, HMJ, Homelessman, and me. Simply called the “Team of Seven” because I did not realize that I needed to put a team name in the email to book our seats, our brains together could dominate Trivial Pursuit.
We walked into Balsam Falls Brewing Company on a cold winter night with an air of confidence only reserved for winners like Tom Brady and that dude who won like 30 episodes of Jeopardy in a row. Even with several pints of the brewery’s Buttah Beeah White Stout and plates of flatbread pizzas and tater tots, we never lost our focus. We were going to win that $25 gift, sure, but the glory of high score and victory, that lasts forever.
Earlier that day, however, we were almost defeated… by a mountain, ice, and snow. Siler Bald Mountain is a favorite climb for through-hikers on the Appalachian Trail or day-hikers who want a short challenge and epic view.
The seven of us made the trip to North Carolina shortly after Christmas of 2020. Despite being surrounded by mountains on all sides, Franklin and Sylva are not prone to heavy snow. A short dusting of snow is much more typical for that time of year, but late December 2020 saw a heavy blanket of snow cover the area like a beautiful soft comforter on a bed. It was in these elements we decided to hike the two miles to the top of Siler Bald.
Water is sometimes a sneaky and insidious foe to the hiker. It can be a refreshing escape from heat, quench and replenish a thirsty hiker, or it can leave you wishing the molecular combination of Hydrogen and Oxygen never existed. The snow on the trail leading up the bald still looked fresh as we approached the start of the trail. Day packs on, beers in hand, bluetooth speaker blasting, we began what should have been a simple 45 minute climb with excitement.
Within the first five minutes we encountered another hiker, wearing crampons, walking back to the parking lot with a defeated look on his face.
“How was the top, man?” I asked.
“Didn't make it too much ice,” he responded, briskly walking past us.
That should have been a red flag. Instead, in typical fashion with this collection of individuals, we scoffed at his lack of determination, laughed that he wore crampons, and pushed forward. At some point in the next quarter mile we encountered a few slippery spots in the form of small ice puddles that formed between roots that grew like stairs on the trail. That passing hiker probably realized what we failed to comprehend: as the trail wound to the sunny side of the mountain, only exposed to the sun for a couple of hours, the snow would melt and create a small creek lumbering down the trail. Overnight that little trail would freeze over completely, creating a slippery death trap. In our hubris, we rationalized that this ice couldn't possibly last the whole trail… right?
It was the whole trail. Every rock, every step, every inch was covered in a thick, slick coating of ice. None of us, save Jonathan and Olivia, were wearing hiking boots. My beat up pair of Nike sneakers could not complete with the perils of a two mile uphill climb.
We probably should have turned back like the hiker we met earlier, but beer has that ability to boost confidence and imagination. We continued, slowly, slipping, sliding, shredding tendons, bruising muscles, and straining joints. What should have been a 45 minute jaunt turned into a three hour taxing expedition into a mini Donner Party experience.
We pushed ourselves with the help of sips from beer and sturdy sticks used to balance ourselves on the hazardous ice.
What makes Siler Bald’s view so spectacular and unique is its vast and treeless 360 panoramic view. Decades ago it was cleared by a lumber company leaving a literal bald spot on the top of the mountain. Unfortunately, the trail to the top of the bald is a steep 1000 yard beast of a climb. Tough under normal conditions, covered in snow and ice made it daunting.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. We made it to the top, drank our beers, and cheered to ourselves for our victory despite trying circumstances. Now… how to get back down? Thankfully, an old logging road built by the same company that gave the mountain its famous haircut still existed. We were advised to take the road as it remained on the sunless side of the mountain and possessed little snowmelt. It was beautiful. The road remained unblemished by the steps of man, and the snow was still fresh. A literal winter wonderland.
That experience forged our determination to celebrate with ice cold brews and a dominating performance at Balsam Falls Trivia later that evening. We left the competition in the dust by a margin of over 150 points with a score of 295. Just five away from a perfect score. High fives all around, pint glasses chiming together, we won that $25 dollar gift card paying a $150 dollar tab instead of $175. Warren Buffet would be proud.
Balsam Falls Brewing Company sits on Main St in Sylva, North Carolina. A lovely little college town supporting the rustic and outdoor adventures of college students from Western Carolina University and residents alike, Sylva is the gateway to the ever expanding collection of breweries in Western North Carolina. Balsam Falls is a personal favorite of mine. The brewery provides a massive selection of 26 house brews ranging from light and airy Blonde Ales to dark and brooding stouts to even a collection of ciders and meads. There’s a beer waiting for you at Balsam Falls, all you have to do is try them all to find out which is it!
Walk into the door of this brewery and you find out quickly that it’s a fairly popular haunt. Its massive and wonderfully crafted bar perpetually has its seats filled. The smell of tasty burgers and flatbread entices the nostrils to stay for more than just a pint and the staff is friendly and knowledgeable of the beers, guiding you through your climb like professional beer sherpas.
Even better, they serve six glass flights. HUZZAH! A dreamland for a person like myself who wants to just try every beer ever made at every brewery!
My head was swimming at the prospect of so many options… But I must stick to the two sets of flights lest I forget how to get back to the campsite.
My first flight flowed with “Eagle Blonde”, “Elvis Has Left the Brewpub”, “Salt Rock Wit”, “Yopper Orange Imperial”, “Into the Mist”, and “Petrified Dragon Fly”. Eagle Blonde is a Blonde Ale displaying a straw color and slight malt scent. It’s light and crispy, with a sweet start and yeasty finish making this a great beer to slug after a long afternoon of outdoor adventure. Elvis Has Left the Brew Pub is a wonderfully tasty peanut butter and banana Hefeweizen showcasing an old gold color with a peanut butter and banana smell that hits the nostrils. It’s light and crispy that cannot be described any better than its name with a Banana aftertaste for the ages. Salt Rock Wit is a classic Wheat Beer exhibiting a lemon color with a bready aroma reminding me of a fresh bag of french bread. It starts off crackery with a pleasant orange finish to balance the yeastiness.
Yopper Orange Imperial is a New England Style IPA possessing a hazy bumblebee color with a classic hazy IPA smell. It starts off tropical like a tasty breeze with a nice piney and bitter finish. Into the Mist is a unique beer as it's a Southern IPA displaying a hazy straw color with a citrus fragrance. It's tasty and fruity to start with a subtle and muted bitterness. The low hoppiness really accentuates the tasty tropical flavors. Petrified Dragon Fly is a clever Red Ale presenting a fire color with a rich smell. It starts sweet and light and finishes with a muted caramel flavor.
Halftime. I needed a break. Not that the beer was overwhelming, but my stomach began rumbling like a poorly loaded washing machine. I peek over the menu… SO many wonderful options. Hamburger? Tater Tots? Buffalo Chicken Sandwich? No. I know what I want. What I crave. Buffalo chicken flatbread. Just so tasty, so spicy, and crunchy. I eat half and offer the rest to Scott, who’s accompanying me in this little venture today. Scott agrees to eat only one of the slices. The rest somehow disappears a few minutes later. Gone into the ether. Who knows who ate it?
Alright. Next flight. A stunning cornucopia of yellows, reds, and golds before me filled by “King’s Shadow”, “Eww That Smell”, “Grandma’s Pickled Peaches”, “9E9A (NENA)”, “2020 Blues”, and “Smokey Mountain Shandy”. King’s Shadow is a Russian Imperial Stout appearing dark and brooding with a malty smell! It starts chocolaty with a subtle spicy finish making for a delightful beer to end a meal. Eww that Smell is a palatial Gose manifesting a lemon color with a sour and sweet fragrance. It's super sour and sweet to start with a floral and salty finish. Grandma’s Pickled Peaches is solid Sour producing a daffodil color with a slight sour smell. It’s a unique spicy sour with a prickly start and a deep clove finish.
The start of the day is the 9E9A, a delectable cherry hibiscus Sour-Berliner Weisse parading a ravenous ruby color with a hibiscus scent. It's refreshing, light, and crispy with a subtle sourness and sweet start and finish. The hibiscus is strong, but not overwhelming, but rather pleasant. 2020 Blues is an American Pale Wheat beer exhibiting a deep rhubarb color with a lavender aroma. It’s tart from start to finish while also possessing a tasty light and airy quality. Smoky Mountain Shandy is a grapefruit Shandy manifesting a light straw color with a fruity scent. It's light and crispy with that grapefruit flavor from start to finish.
Balsam Falls Brewing Company is open Monday through Friday from 11am to 10pm and Saturday and Sunday from 10am to 10pm. The brewery provides a comfy and cozy place to enjoy the incredible array of 26 house brews and tasty flatbreads and burgers. On the weekends you can get your brunch on with tasty breakfast dishes and mimosas that will help you forget your name.
Tuesday nights you can try and beat my team’s high score for trivia night… good luck and if we happen to meet on that night, I will win that $25 giftcard.
Address:
Balsam Falls Brewing Company
506 W Main St
Sylva, NC 28779
Social Media:
https://balsamfallsbrewing.com/
https://www.facebook.com/balsamfallsbrewing
https://www.instagram.com/balsamfallsbrewing/?hl=en
https://untappd.com/v/balsam-falls-brewing-co/6336496
Paddles, Peaks, and Pours.
By Ian Guevara
The raft careens over the first boulder, moving swiftly in the brisk current. A five foot standing wave sits at the bottom of this boulder, waiting to crash over the heads of reveling rafters. Without warning the raft rapidly shifts 90 degrees, enveloping the entire right side in the shadow of the crashing white water. The raft erupts through the wave, straightened, with cheers from the now soaked paddlers.
“Ian that was AWESOME,” yells Jeffery excitedly, yet he and the paddlers receive no answer. The four oresman look to the seat of the raft where I, their guide, once sat. It was empty. That maneuver that brought them so much joy launched me about 10 feet in the air and into the icy depths. I could only wave at them as I rode the rest of Patton's Run rapids, shocked by the 55 degree water, feeling every rock carefully placed in that river by mother nature.
“Patton's Run Porter…” I read the name of the beer crafted by Nantahala Brewing Company and am in a trance, unbroken, and flooded with memories, all happy and playful. This is what breweries and their beers are supposed to do, be the elixirs that facilitate good stories.
Don't wag that accusatory finger at me. I know I denigrate beers named after destinations and street names back in the Gnarly Barley interview. However, that was more pointed to New Orleans and South Louisiana that treats nostalgia like a drug and the only fix is yet another product named after something local. Here, in the mountains and valley of the noon-day sun, its different. This is my story, I’m allowed to waffle!
I’ve rafted the Nantahala River over 150 times… ok, I don't know for sure, this is only a guess, but I’ve rafted it enough that my behind has felt nearly all of its eroded rocks. There are too many stories to pinpoint exactly as there are many tales to be told of my time on that river. Mr. Groome taking me kayaking on the river for the first time, terrorizing other boats like a bunch of pirates, saving lost paddles instead of lost rafters because deposits were at stake, jumping off of picnic rock, “Mom” and the dysfunctional operations of Paddle Inn Rafting Company, and so much more. But one is especially funny to me: my time with Mr. Groome on the river.
I craved to kayak the river on an inflatable kayak. The freedom of being your own master of your craft and not enslaved by the whims of an inexperienced guide was almost too enticing for my 10 year old brain to handle. Alas, I was not old enough to solo kayak. But, as always, Mr. Groome was game for adventure.
Ian - Finally Old Enough to Solo Kayak
Little did I know, Mr. Groome had a devious plan for us on the river.
Ever the trickster, Mr. Groome was always plotting little pranks. He once owned a massive plastic foot wide tarantula that terrified me. There was five year old Ian watching Saturday morning cartoons, glued to the television, even during commercials locked in a consumerist trance. Only Millennials will understand the entertaining capacity of the Crossfire Board Game commercials.
During one commercial break I break from the hypnotism to see the tarantula sitting in the hallway. How did it get there? I wondered. The cartoons come back on and so does my trance. Commercial break again and the tarantula is gone. Whew, I thought, I knew that I was seeing things. I lean back in relaxation, confident in my safety, and I feel it! The furry leg of the plastic tarantula. It was behind me! I jump up and my screams of terror are met by the laughter of Mr. Groome, who with the stealth of a ninja, slowly plotted the movements of that tarantula throughout the cartoon programs I watched.
This is the evil genius I was dealing with that fateful day of my first kayak adventure on the Nantahala.
The Evil Genius
“Pa-Pa, don't you think that you’ll need a jacket for the river?” I asked, oblivious to the machinations of the plotting patriarch.
“Oh, I don't know about me, but you definitely should,” he answered. I should have translated that answer into a red flag.
Mr. Groome was a master of the Nantahala River. In his 40 years prior, before the invention of commercial inflatable whitewater rafts, Mr. Groome navigated these waters in a solo canoe enough times to know the location of every standing wave and “rooster tail” that existed on that river. Throughout the next three hours, he would give me a masterclass in locating waves, cutting the nose of the boat, and washing me in the cold crush of whitewater.
He did this and somehow never left the boat at the takeout with dry shorts and only dampness from the mist created by my power wash. He knew from the beginning. He knew that I would be doused and he would be able to change clothes without worrying about a dryer.
Beers with names like “Patton’s Run Porter” and “Noon Day IPA” take me and anyone else who paddled the cold waters of the Nantahala into mesmeric nostalgia-laden trances.
Nantahala Brewing Company is tucked away only a stone’s throw from downtown Bryson City, North Carolina. Sandwiched between a view of the Smokies and the Smoky Mountain Railway track, Nantahala Brewing Company, with its outdoor patio and open tap room, offers a tasty and relaxing getaway from the trivialities of the outside world. The brewery presents five house beers and a litany of guest taps to satisfy any soul. Not serving flights due to draconian county alcohol laws that besiege Swain County, the brewery does offer half-pint pours of which I definitely took advantage.
My half pint glasses were filled with a marvelous beer color wheel, with only fruity colors missing… alas they ran out of the watermelon sour weeks ago, that would have been the perfect compliment to the browns, ambers, and golds before me. The fiver beers tasted were “Noon Day”, “Patton’s Run”, “Sticky Dog”, “Kephart Prong”, and “Dirty Girl”.
Noon Day is an India Pale Ale displaying a butterscotch color with a flashy floral fragrance. A classic IPA, it’s light, hoppy, and sweet to start with a bitter finish. Patton’s Run is a Porter boasting the color amber with a roasty coffee smell. An exceptional Porter and a Dad Beer candidate, it’s smooth and smoky with a sweet start and subtle bitter finish. Sticky Dog is a reliable Stout possessing a chocolate color with a malty smell. It’s robust and liquorice tasting from the beginning with a smooth and spicy ending. Kephart Prong is a classic Pilsner with a seat at the Dad Beer Council’s Table. Corn in color with a floral bouquet, this brew is light and crispy, parading a floral taste with a hop end making it a perfect beer to drink after mowing the lawn or just taking out the trash.
The star of the show is the Dirty Girl, a splendidly satisfying Blonde Ale exhibiting a mellow yellow tinge with a sweet aroma. This is the beer to eat with a meal! It won't fill you up and will leave you room for more, plus a burger. Dirty Girl is light, crispy, and taffy flavored to start with an incredible, but muted, hopp finish. I really like this beer!
Nantahala Brewing Company is open from Sunday through Thursday from 12pm to 8pm and Friday and Saturday from 12pm to 9pm. The brewery offers an outstanding menu of food to compliment its beers, especially the outpost burger for which I adamantly attest is outstanding. The venue provides a scenic outdoor patio with live bands on the weekends.
Like the ever-plotting Mr. Groome, plot yourself a plan to make it over to Nantahala Brewing Company. No tricks, only great brews and solid food.
Address:
Nantahala Brewing Company
61 Depot Street
Bryson City, NC 28713
Social Media:
http://www.nantahalabrewing.com/home.html
https://www.facebook.com/nantahalabrewing
https://www.instagram.com/nantahalabrew/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/nantahalabrew
https://untappd.com/nantahalabrewing
BIG PROPS: Later in the journey I returned to Nantahala. There’ll be a quick story about my new friend, Brock, a bartender and lover of the simpler life like myself!
Hiking Machines and Drinking Fiends
By Ian Guevara
The kudzu creeps quietly up the trees along the busy byways near Bryson City, North Carolina, the Gateway to the Smokies. I am in the middle of my journey of tasting beers and experiencing what Western North Carolina has to offer.
It’s a sunny day when we arrive. Almost as hot as New Orleans, the area is experiencing an historic heat wave… so is the whole world. I’m joined by some new faces on this journey. Travelers as far as New Orleans and Washington DC. They came out here to be with me and to partake in the experience of breweries, beers, and the outdoors. Scott arrived from DC just a day ago, pushing through an eight hour drive. This kid is a warrior.
Ian and Scott
Last summer he made the pilgrimage to the Gateway to the Smokies with me as well. When I tell you that this kid is a warrior, I don't say it lightly. I’ve known Scott since he was a youngin, he and his three older brothers, Edward, Alex, and Michael, all grew up in my Boy Scout Troop. Furthermore, three out of four of these brothers worked under me in three different areas at the summer camp we all served for a better part of 15 years.
Scott was the last of the brothers to work under me. He was my assistant director on the waterfront, and I could not have done the job nearly as well as I think I did without him. I’m sure his colleagues and managers at the newspaper company he works for feel the same.
Easily the largest of the three brothers, towering well over six feet, four inches, and 240 lbs, Scott is a machine. I’ve always known this. He’d consistently volunteered for the most difficult assignments, particularly the grueling free-boating patrol requiring the guard on duty to perpetually row a boat for an hour in the oppressive Mississippi sun. He saw it as exercise.
Last summer Scott, Daniel, and myself decided to visit Clingmans Dome, the highest point in the Smokies. 12 miles, all uphill, with a 4,800ft ascent. Scott would start walking at six am, I would drive to the top and hike around by myself for a while, and Daniel planned on running up the trail, leaving only a couple hours after us.
Ian and Daniel
I reached the Clingmans Dome parking lot around 7:30am and began my hike. Such a beautiful sight to witness. The mountain rises over 6,643ft above sea level. The sun was barely peeking over the clouds, painting the sky in a pastel pink aura, enveloping the panorama. The valleys shrouded in mist and fog, those poor souls under those clouds are deprived of the magnificent color palette provided by nature. I’ve seen scenic overlooks a lot in my years of travel. This is among the best.
I took a nice little six mile look around the mountain and up the Appalachian Trail, finishing in a little under two hours. After taking a detour up to the observation tower that rests like a monument to 1950s modernist architecture, I returned to the truck to remove my knee braces and hiking boots. Looking up through the searing morning sun I see a tower figure, a giant, lumbering up the road, trees shaking and the mountain itself trembling. It was 9:30am, only three and a half hours after Scott began his climb into the heavens. He conquered the 12 mile, all uphill, 4,800ft ascent in three and a half hours. I told you this dude was a machine.
Scott and I waited for a number of hours until Daniel’s arrival. Detained by the presence of our beautiful campsite neighbor, Katie, Daniel did not start his run up the trail until much later than his intended time.
11:00am saw a text message flutter across my phone screen. Sorry for the late start. I’ve reached Lonesome Pines Overlook. Phone is dying.
Lonesome Pine Overlook is only eight miles or so from the top. For a skilled runner like Daniel, we should expect him close to noon, Scott and I reasoned. Noon past and no Daniel.
It was the 4th of July weekend and the parking lot to the biggest attraction in the most popular National Park in the United States was overflowing with tourists from around the world. Children cried in a dozen different languages languishing in their parent’s determination to provide them with memories they will cherish in the future. Scott and I opened up lawn chairs, cracked open beers, and treated our wait like an afternoon tailgate outside the Superdome.
1:00pm passed and still no Daniel in sight. No answers to text messages. All calls were going straight to voicemail. We began to worry. By 1:30pm I decided it was time to go confer with a forest ranger on what we should do. Should we wait longer? Should we try to look for him? Who should we alert if he doesn't arrive by sundown?
With two people in front of me to speak to the Forest Ranger, I peeked over in the direction of my truck to see the waving arms of Scott, a sure signal that Daniel had returned.
“Yeah, sorry guys, I must have gotten turned around when I stopped to get water,” Daniel explained, clearly exhausted from his detour. “I must have run an extra eight or so miles.”
Daniel is a machine too, one with faulty navigation, but still a machine nonetheless.
On our return from the top of Clingmans Dome we ran into the Bryson City 4th of July festivities. Seeing it as a sign, we parked the truck, and traversed over to Mountain Layers Brewing Company for a late afternoon break.
Along with Jonathan, whom you all should know by now if you’ve been paying attention, Daniel and Scott make great company to visit the breweries that surround the Bryson City area. On today’s menu is Mountain Layers Brewing Company.
Opened in 2016, Mountain Layers Brewing Company rests on Everett St in downtown Bryson City. Boasting a stunning lineup for a micro-brewery of nearly 19 different beers, the brewery provides a beer for any season, situation, and taste. A second-story balcony looks over the lovely Tuckasegee River and allows all patrons to enjoy a scenic sunset over the Smoky Mountains while sipping craft beer.
Unfortunately due to archaic laws that still plague Swain County, Mountain Layers does not provide flights. They do however provide five ounce pours of any beverage you wish. God I love a good loophole… Don't let the IRS know I said that.
My first set of pours flowed with “Berliner Baby Cherry Sour”, “Prickly Pear Gose”, “The Helles You Say”, and “Whaddayear Whit”. Berliner Baby is a cherry Sour showcasing a squash color with a scant sour sent. A tasty sour beer, It’s light, tart, and slightly sweet to start with a cherry pop and finishing with a sour note. Prickly Pear is a Gose displaying a lovely peach color wtih a strong malty smell. A confusing Gose, its malty flavor is strong from beginning to end and masks the peach sweetness and gose saltiness.
The Helles You Say is my star of the beers tasted! Delightfully butterscotch in color, this Helles has you running back for another sip. A perfect summer beer it’s light, crispy, and bready with a great balance of hop and malt. Whaddayear Whit is a well-made Belgian Wit exhibiting a canary color with a light malty aroma. A tasty Wit that would benefit a slice of orange, it’s smooth and light with slight citrus pop and a subtle maltiness.
My second set of pours consisted of “Dragon Tamer”, “Nydee Effret”, “1887”, and “Tale of the Dunkel”. Dragon Tamer is a New England-style IPA boasting the classic hazy IPA mellow yellow color with a citrus and hoppy fragrance…
“Dude… I think I like IPAs now,” I abruptly interrupted the tasting, looking over at Jonathan. It’s beginning to rain, a reflection of my dreaded revelation. The balcony roof protects us from the elements, but this realization bounces in my brain relentlessly, assaulting my whole ethos of beer tasting.
“Yeah dude, just accept it, you like IPAs,” Jonathan tells me with a flat, matter-of-fact face, as if to say shut up, I get it, you never thought you’d like IPAs, stop acting amazed by this...
Oh yeah… the review… Dragon Tamer starts with a glorious citrus taste followed by a balanced bitterness. Nydee Effret elicits a marmalade color with a strong hoppy perfume. My acceptance of IPA appreciation continues as Nydee is juicy and sweet to start with a lovely balanced hoppiness. 1887, a beverage named in honor of the year Bryson City was founded, is an Amber Ale revealing a rust color with a smoky and malty scent. A reliable Dad Beer every dad would line up for in perpetuity, 1887 starts sweet with a caramel sweetness followed by a touch of maltiness. Tale of the Dunkel is a Lager-Munich Dunkel parading a caramel color with a sweet whiff. It’s toffee forward with a muted maltiness that follows, a tasty addition of the Dunkle logs.
Mountain Layers Brewing Company is open Monday through Saturday from 12pm to 9pm and Sundays from 12pm to 8pm. The venue offers a wonderful second story balcony that looks over the Tuckasegee River, downtown Bryson City, and the Smoky Mountains. The Rice Wagon food truck is stationed outside the brewery offering an intriguing menu for Hawaiian Fusion dishes. The brewery entertains with live music on the weekends from the balcony, a cherry on top of what could be a perfect afternoon.
Go for hikes, get lost, look to the sky, the north star points to a little place on the Tuckasegee where cold beer and friends meet, live, and love..
Address:
Mountain Layers Brewing Company
90 Everett Street
Bryson City, NC 28713
Social Media:
https://www.mountainlayersbrewingcompany.com/home
https://www.facebook.com/MtnLayersBeer/
https://www.instagram.com/mtnlayersbeer/
https://twitter.com/mtnlayersbeer
A Brewery Saw Me
By Ian Guevara
“Are you ok?” she asked as I stepped out of the showerhouse.
“Who? Me?” I replied confused and bewildered, still unable to clear away those pesky morning eye crunchies.
Camping in the high mountains of Western North Carolina always provides moments of exposure to the elements of nature. Even in a fairly populated campground.
Standing Indian Campground sits 3,000 feet above sea level where the rhododendron provides shade and assurance that you’re far from civilization. The plant only grows at these elevations, and blooms a lush purple flower in the summer months of June and July. Even though its status is listed as a simple shrub, it's a sturdy and gregarious plant perfect for securing a hammock and enjoying the bounty of nature.
Forced to wake up early that morning to provide the necessary resupply for my Boy Scout troop, I stumbled out my hammock in a misty 5am dawn. The couple camping across the road were up too, at least I assumed due to the clattering of pots and pans.
Cooking breakfast at 5am? They must be hitting the local trails early, I thought, probably trying to catch lunch atop Standing Indian Mountain or at Mooney Creek Falls.
I gathered my toiletries bag, change of clothes from my truck, and my towel from the clothes line and walked the quarter mile road to the showerhouse. I was exhausted. I spent the previous night laboring over a grill, carefully searing steaks and baking potatoes wrapped in tinfoil and butter. The sixer of tasty local brewery beer also assisted in my early morning sloth.
Rubbing my eyes in the gloomy mountain morning, I barely noticed the clattering from the campsite across the road cease.
They must be finished breakfast, I thought, good for them.
Still waking up, I didn't bother to notice that there was not a single delicious breakfast smell coming from the campsite. No pleasant aroma of coffee. No sound of bacon grease crackling in the crisp mountain air. Nothing.
Must have been an instant grits and oatmeal kind of day, I shrugged.
I stumbled into the showerhouse at the campground, a palatial establishment that the Romans would have been happy to patron. An open room with a showerhead in one corner, a bench in another, a sink in the third corner, and the porcelain throne nested in the last corner. $25 a night well spent.
After finishing refreshing myself, still unable to rid myself of fatigue, I walked out of the showerhouse and noticed the white Ford Explorer belonging to the couple camping across the road. The window rolled down to the exasperated face of a lovely young lady.
“Are you ok?” she asked.
“Who? Me?” I replied confused and bewildered, still unable to clear away those pesky morning eye crunchies.
“Yeah, you walked, like, five feet past a bear. It was tearing up our campsite. You walked right past it and it stopped and just watched you for like two minutes,” she tells me to my utter disbelief.
“Nah,” is all I could retort, chuckling in equal disbelief.
A bear saw me, but I didn't see a bear.
After seeing to my early morning duties, I ventured into Franklin and discovered another brewery located in its downtown area: Currahee Brewing Company.
Looking over the Little Tennessee River, Currahee Brewing Company houses a massive brewing operation. Hosting a large and lively tap room, a massive bar, plenty of seating, and a scenic outdoor seating venue, Currahee is an excellent venue to sit back and forget the ills that trouble you. The brewery boasts 11 house brews and one seltzer.
The staff is friendly and knowledgeable, willing to talk to rambling neophyte writers like yours truly. Alyssa, my first bartender, assists me in my beer quest as I regale her with tales of my previous beer adventures. She’s going to New Orleans in late July for a bachelorette party! I wish her good luck, warning her of the oppressive heat and humidity that’s only teased here in the valley of Franklin, North Carolina.
Alyssa pours my first flight, a beer-rainbow containing “Frankenstark”, “Garand”, “Brush Creek”, and “506th Vol.4”. Frankenstark is a Belgian Strong Ale displaying a deep gold color with a malty scent. It’s sweet to start with a rich maltiness and a smooth rye finish. Garand, named in honor the rifle Mr. Groome cherished, showcased the color of the Tuscan Sun... never been there but I imagine that's what it looks like. The piney smell assaults the nostrils and pine and Citrus start the tasty journey ending with a bitter aftertaste.
Brush Creek is the star of the show, boasting a pink, lushess, and dainty color with a sweet and tarty plum fragrance. It’s crispy, sweet, and slightly tart to start and finishes with a tasty plum sweetness. I suspect the brewer is a Star Wars fan by the name of the next beer, but I couldn't get any confirmation. Nevertheless, the 506th Vol.4 taunts with a caramel color wafting with a smoky and sweet liquor scent like scotch. It’s sweet and scotchy from start to finish. If you love wonderful tasty scotch, this is the beer for you. You don't have to feel like you’re fighting a 1000 year old peat bog when drinking it, which is a plus.
Shift change. Alyssa bids a farewell and I’m greeted by Perry, a veteran, and a young man who corrects an important puzzle in my next flight.
The second flight flowed with “Mountain Blonde”, “Los Piratas”, “Slick Rock”, and “Lucky Scars Hazy”. Mountain Blonde is a Blonde Ale exhibiting a clear gold color with a slight bready smell. It’s crispy, light, and sweet to start with a balanced Dad Beer aftertaste. Slick Rock is a Brown American Ale revealing a pecan color with a toffee fragrance. It’s light and crispy with a caramel touch to start and subtle smoky malt to end.
Los Piratas is a Mexican Lager parading a mesmerizing corn color with a sweet scent. I’m so happy that Mexican Lagers are making a push into more breweries. They’re such a fascinating beer possessing so much personality and can be paired with almost any meal or after meal smoking vice. Los Piratas is light and crispy with a delicious pale lager aftertaste that begs for a pint.
The next beer did not look right at first. Lucky Scars Hazy is listed as a New England-style IPA, but those are supposed to be hazy and psychedelic looking… right? At first it appeared clear and gold. What is this? It has a super hoppy first sniff and starts sweet but is immediately overpowered by the hoppy bitterness. I ask Perry and immediately he agrees that this isn't right. Perry checks the tap and solves the mystery. It's the end of the keg. Perry shuffles to the brewing laboratory and retrieves a fresh glass of a beautiful hazy yellow liquid with the signature tropical hoppy perfume. This is it! The beer is sweet and tropical to start with a refined bitterness to follow. Now that’s a New Egland-style IPA!
Currahee Brewing Company’s Franklin location is open Monday through Thursday from 12pm to 9pm, Friday and Saturday from 12pm to 10pm, and Sunday from 12pm to 8pm. Boasting a large and beautiful tap room replete with a variety of tasty brews, Currahee is a great place to chill out and enjoy music and maybe a little cornhole out back. The Brewery entertains with music on the weekends and entices you to stay for a bit with two food trucks posted out front.
Don't walk past this joint like a weary camper in the woods passing a hungry bear, enjoy nature safely and comfortably with a beer in your hand and conversation waiting.
Address:
Currahee Brewing Company
100 Lakeside Dr
Franklin, NC 28734
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/curraheebrew/
Love, Beer, and Self-Discovery
By Ian Guevara
You always remember your first love. The image of that person is forever seared into your mind. The location you met her, the day, the temperature, the smell of the air, and the sounds of the environment. Lasting images. The first time you met in an elevator, unloading your meager possessions in a cramped college dorm. The first kiss under the stars on a cool night on the Lake Pontchartrain levee. The awkward car ride returning home, barely able to look at each other because their sight would lead to laughter and tears. The first fight. The first heartbreak.
We’ve all felt these emotions in some form or another for someone, and if you haven't it will come. The emotions will be real and scary. And if you’re like me, you’ll run from them because being outside that emotional comfort zone is a terrifying thought. But you persevere, ever ready to try new and different forms of love. Each one gives you a better understanding of yourself and of humanity.
What in the hell does this have anything to do with beer and breweries?
Well, a lot. Beer is an allegory for life. Each glass, each pour, each sud, each taste, each smell, even the condensation forming on the outside of the glass creates a direct parallel to the human condition. A microcosm of the emotional rollercoaster that life provides.
You can be in a relationship with someone and realize you have no real love for them but you stay with them because you’re comfortable. That happens with beer! How many times have you opened your “go-to” commercial beer and said, “I love this”? Never I imagine. Only psychopaths and sociopaths have the ability to consistently lie and say they “love” the list of commercial lite beer. Most of us just drink it because we’re most familiar with it. We know that it will always remain the same.
You can go out on a date with someone and know it will lead to disaster, but you stick it out because the meal hasn't yet hit the table. That happens with beer! I’ve lost count of the beers I’ve drunk over the past five years that were terrible. Awful flavors that were not unique in any way. You finish drinking it because you ordered it and dont want to waste time trying to order another… then you go back to the comfort beer like a late-night booty-call.
But sometimes you give that person another try, another date, and you find out that they’re growing on you. Have you not been paying attention to my growing appreciation of IPAs? Beer Gods help me, I might be falling “in like” with them.
And sometimes it’s love at first sight. The sparks fly, the meal is inconsequential, plans are made, and you can't wait to be with that person as much as you can. That most definitely happens with beer! We’ve all had that love at first taste moment. Your eyes light up on the first sip and you can't stop going back. Over and over again you drink it, trying to find faults in it, but you’re unsuccessful. You order it again, maybe because that first glass was tainted or something. No? It is this good.
And now you have your beer for life. There may come other beers, but your first beer love will always be with you. Always a cherished memory of happiness and discovery.
Lazy Hiker Brewing Company’s Margarita Gose is my first beer love. I didn't find it until late in my beer drinking life, already well into my 30s! But that was it. It was the beer that truly changed my perspective on beer and that it was ok to try things that weren’t ales, lagers, pilsners, wheat beers, ect. The comfort beers.
Today I’m at the Lazy Hiker Brewing Company in Franklin, North Carolina. And it’s a special occasion: I’m approaching 100 beers tasted on this journey! How fitting that this milestone happens to be at the brewery that served as the conception of this adventure. I didn't plan it this way which makes it even more special! It just fell in place. Like all special things in life, they happen not from sheer will or planning, but from improvisation and inspiration.
Lazy Hiker is located on a busy corner on Main Street of downtown Franklin with its now iconic silver silo greeting newcomers and regulars alike. Opened in 2015, Lazy Hike’s explosion in popularity is due to its incredible consistency and exploration of beer flavors that is not rivaled by any brewery in the area. The brewery opens up to a large tap room and a homely decor. Pictures of the Appalachian trail, posters of all the beers brewed, and used hiking boots hang from the rafters as trophies of journeys started and completed.
Lazy Hiker Brewing Company - Franklin, NC
Yes, I have a biased opinion. Yes, I have been to Lazy Hiker the most out of all the breweries being reviewed, even the ones around my region! But I think my tastes and ability to judge a beer has changed tremendously over the past couple of years. So I’m diving into this with a fresh perspective and a drive to be fair… yeah… that ain't happening.
With 19 beers on tap, I’m at a crossroads as to what to do. These lips have tasted the regular beers brewed by the fine establishment. “Trail Mate Golden Ale”, “Springer Fever Pilsner”, “Trail Candy IPA”, “Wesser Evil Porter”, “Slack Pack IPA”, these are the standard beers provided by Lazy Hiker. They’re all killer beers, but I have to stay to the eight flight format for consistency and for my liver.
Decision time. I will make multiple reviews of Lazy Hiker! Yup! I’ll visit the tap room and clear out the ones that I miss today. I do this not because I want to, but because I have a responsibility to drink these beers for you. I am the hero you don't deserve, but need right now.
The bartender, Danielle, assists me in my decision. She suggests that I stick to the beers that are only served at the Franklin location so that I can leave the other beers for my review of the Sylva tap room. I didn't plan on having to strategize so much, but it's worth it, the beer is tasty either way.
My first flight glowed with “Lazy Session”, “Mt Katahdin Vol II”, “Ales for ALS”, and “Nitro Night Hike”. Lazy Session is an English Pale Ale showing a buttery color with a slight bready smell. It starts light and soft with a malty savor and subtle hop aftertaste. Mt Katahdin Vol II is a New England-style Hazy IPA displaying a beautiful cloudy daffodil color with that signature Hazy IPA citrus and hop smell. Crispy, sweet, and light, the brew starts with a citrus flavor balanced by the bitter undertone.
The man got a little excited. Maybe you can just imagine what those beers looked like.
Providing a dollar for every beer poured for ALS research and treatment, Ales for ALS is a Double IPA exhibiting a funky yellow color with a strong and sweet hoppy smell. It punches you with that hoppy bitterness from beginning to end but leaves a little mango aftertaste. Nitro Night Hike presents a deep, dark, chocolate brown with a coffee and chocolate smell. It's rich, creamy, smooth, and starts off sweet and chocolatey, finishing with that roasted coffee flavor and a hint of fruit.
My second flight flowed with “Slack Pack”, “Amblin Amber”, “Cherry Orange Saison”, and “Darkening”. Slack Pack is a standard IPA unveiling a smooth bumblebee color with a hoppy bouquet. Hopps all around with this brew, starting with a sweet and floral hint followed by a precise bitterness. Amblin Amber flaunts a stunning tangerine color with a malty scent. It's malty from start to finish with a caramel tone and understated hoppiness to the end.
Cherry Orange is a Saison parading a grapefruit color and a wild, fruity, and earthy perfume. The orange and cherry hit first yielding a lovely refreshing yeast finish. Darkening stunningly arrays a dark and mysterious umber color with a roasty malt and cherry fragrance. SOUR to the nth power!! It’s crispy, light, chocolaty, and malty from the beginning, racing to a sour and sweet cherry finish. EXCELLENT.
The 100th beer tasted could be nothing else. The “Margarita Gose”. This Gose manifests a sultry lemon color that's hazy and comforting with a salty and sour smell! Light, crispy, airy, salty, sweet, sour, you name it! It has it all! You never forget your first love, the one who started it all for you. This is it! Perfect for the summer, looking over the beach or finishing a long day of work. It's there for you, always dependable and always comforting.
Margarita Gose
Lazy Hiker Brewing Company is open Sunday through Thursday from 11:30am to 10pm and Fridays and Saturdays from 11:30am to 11pm. The brewery provides a comforting environment to sick back and relax away the troubles of a hard day. Outside is a delectable food truck called the “Hiker’s Kitchen” where you can grab some tasty morsels to balance out the 19 house beers provided by Lazy Hiker. The brewery also delivers a litany of evening events to keep you entertained and looking forward to your next stop. From trivia night to open mic nights to live music on Friday and Saturday nights, there’s always a beer and a good time to be had.
You never forget your first love, and you never forget your first beer-love. You won't forget your time at Lazy Hiker.
Address:
Lazy Hiker Brewing Company
188 W Main St
Franklin, NC 28734
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/lazyhikerbrewingco/
When You Embarrass Yourself, Just Drink More
By Ian Guevara
Buck Bald Brewing - Murphy, NC
“Now that’s just a question you should never ask a brewer,” chuckled Patrick, the head brewer and proprietor of Buck Bald Brewing.
I am gutted. My amateurity was on display like a pair of holey underwear waving, strung up on a flagpole in an immature camp prank. If I could have hid under a rock and waited out my shame, I would have. This is a massive misstep for me. 14 breweries in, over 80 beers sampled, and I still fail to grasp the etichet of brewer-speech.
Patrick is an imposing figure, bearded like a long-lost member of ZZ Top, and whose bear-like hands enveloped mine and made them disappear into the matrix. But he is a forgiving brewmaster, and I think he’s just yanking my chain. He proceeds to break down the complexities and craftsmanship that makes up the identity of every beer he produces. I’m in the presence of a wizard of brewing. I need to take careful notes.
As I’ve aged I’ve tried to break the habit of putting my foot in my mouth. As a younger man, impulsive and arrogant, I paid no heed to the idea of situational awareness.
The last time it snowed in New Orleans was in December of 2008. I was woken from my 22 year old hungover slumber by my mother telling me to see the sight. Real snow. What people in the south mistake for snow is usually wet frozen rain that plummets to the ground and shatters car windows. No, this was dry and fluffy, floating softly to the earth. I made a snowman. It was two feet tall. I felt like Charlie Brown.
After a morning of borrowing trash can tops and sliding down the Lake Pontchartrain levees, trying to reenact the sledding scene from Christmas Vacation as best we could, the snow melted and reverted back to its brown and slushy form that would ice the streets and become an ominous omen for the day.
It was a Thursday and the Saints were playing the Bears in Chicago on primetime. That only meant one thing for a young man in his twenties: watching the game with a bunch of friends while trying to see who can forget the score the fastest.
I was on the way to Mike’s house in the Lakeview area. My 06 Ford Ranger creaked and squealed with every bump and pothole. Ford owners know it all too well, it's colloquially called the “Ford Creak”, and can be heard through the vacuum of space in the International Space Station.
As I drove I noticed the hallmark display of a law enforcement Crown Victoria front end tailing me, the yellow parking lights set firmly inside of the bright headlights. For a mile, at the speed limit, from Harrison Avenue all the way up Bellaire Drive I was tailed. I had nothing to hide, or at least I thought, yet my heart was racing. No one enjoys being pulled over, and kickoff was approaching. “I can’t miss this,” I thought to myself, “the Saints will lose if I miss kickoff.” We had a litany of silly superstitions.
I pulled into Mike’s driveway, exited my truck, and instead of having situational awareness and walking straight into Mike’s house, I approached the police car.
“Can I help you officer?” I asked innocently.
“Yeah, your truck fits the description of a vehicle suspected in the theft of multiple homes in this area,” the officer stated.
“Do I look like the Grinch who stole Christmas?” Those were the wrong words to use with the NOPD. They neither possess a sense of humor nor any sense of any kind apparently.
I was handcuffed, searched, and arrested. Now I was not arrested for mouthing off, although I’m sure that didn't help. I had an unpaid traffic ticket in another parish. Being a college student, I struggled in “Making Difficult Choices 101”. $500 to pay for school books, $500 to pay for Saints season tickets, or $500 to pay off a speeding ticket. The answer was clear. I love the Saints.
I spent the evening in jail, thankfully bailed out by my friends before I had to put on the orange jump suit and sleep in the general population. I lacked situational awareness. A trait that I still don't seem to have shaken off.
At least this time I’m just embarrassed and not handcuffed.
Buck Bald Brewing is a large and spacious establishment located on Tennessee Street in Murphy, North Carolina. It's the second location for Buck Bald Brewing, the first being located an hour and a half drive away in Copperhill, Tennessee. Opened this year, Murphy is larger than the original location and sports a modern and inviting tap room with 12 wonderfully crafted house beers on tap.
The brewery does not provide flights. Instead they do half pours of pints. My liver will be sacrificed to the Brew Gods in August.
My first set of half pours consisted of “Hollerin’man”, “McCully Mountain”, “Big Bitch”, and “Big Frog”. Hollern’man is a Pale Ale an apricot color with a sweet citrus smell. The hopps hit you immediately and is followed with a muted citrus flavor that balances the taste. McCully Mountain is an English-Style Mild beer providing a smooth pecan color with a malty aroma. It starts light and crispy with a sweet caramel flavor followed by that roasted malt taste.
Big Bitch is an Indian Pale Lager showcasing an alluring butterscotch color. Starting with a piney flavor, it follows with a floral aftertaste and muted bitterness. This is the first Indian Pale Lager I’ve ever tasted and it's wonderful. Buck Bald Brewing is the only brewery I’ve visited to produce this brew and I see a trend starting. Big Frog is a New England-Style Hazy IPA unveiling a honey color and that classic citrus and hoppy smell that's typical of a Hazy IPA. It’s a wonderful Hazy IPA with a great balance of citrus and bitterness that keeps you going.
My second set of half pours were filled with “Raging Red”, “Mango Tango”, “Backpack Blonde”, and “When Berry Gose Away”. Raging Red is an Irish Red Ale appearing with a gingerbread color and an alluring bready smell. It’s crispy and smooth to start with a toasty malty finish. Mango Tango is a habanero and mango infused Berliner Weisse exhibiting the color of light hay with an inviting sweet and spicy smell. Mango Tango is enchanting with a light, crispy, and tart start containing a mellow mango sweetness that's followed by a spicy habanero finish that rests there and dances on the back of your tongue. Backpack Blonde is a standard Blonde Ale revealing a honey color with a tempting sweet aroma. It’s malty to start and finishes smoothly.
The star of the show is When Berry Gose Away. By now you know I’m biased for sours and salty Goses. This beer had it all. Patrick proudly boasted that this was the first beer to empty out at a local beer festival in Tennessee. It's no wonder why. The brew coaxes you in with a tangy ruby color and a sweet berry fragrance. I couldn’t wait to treat my taste buds to his incredible brew. It’s salty, cripsy, smooth, sour, and sweet! It literally possesses all the things you want in a Gose. Perfect beer for a summer day and one of my favorites by far on this journey.
Buck Bald Brewing’s Murphy location is open Thursday through Monday from 12pm to 8pm. The Murphy location offers a large open tap room with plenty of beers and even more stories. Community is a clear prerogative here as there is a large shelf of personalized mugs firmly against the wall for local beer tasters to have a slice of home away from home. If you’re looking for some food to compliment your beer, Smokey Mountain BBQ Company is a stone’s throw away to help soak up the suds.
The Saints lost that game back in December of 2008 by the way, in overtime, to Kyle Orton. It was my fault, I missed the kickoff. Don't miss out on Buck Bald Brewing, you’ll regret it.
Address:
Buck Bald Brewing
104 Tennessee Street Suite D
Murphy, NC 28906
Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/buckbaldbrewing/
https://www.instagram.com/buckbaldbrewingmurphy/
Valley of the Long Lost Hotcakes
By Ian Guevara
“Remember to like, follow, and share.”
Those are not my words. Well they are but they aren't. I stuttered those words in a hobbly, drunken mess as I walked out the door of the bar…book store… ice creamery. What is this? Who am I? What am I doing here? Is this real? Is this a simulation? Did I just say that? Embarrassingly, and deservedly, I hear the servers mock me as the door swings past me in an epic whoosh. It's been a day in Murphy, NC.
I’ve passed through Murphy several times. The first memory of Murphy comes some 30 years ago while on a boy scout trip to hike a section of the Appalachian Trail. I wanted a classic McDonald’s Breakfast. And I wasn’t alone. Hordes of 11-17 year olds all cheered for a McDonalds breakfast. Their voices bellowing over the CB radios secured to the dashboards in the vehicles of every adult leader in the troop. Not even the voice of reason or mercy could stop us.
Hotcakes, sausages, hash browns, silicon-like scrambled eggs and fluffy, yet dense and buttery biscuits called my name. The Sirens of Odysseus called on us, beckoned upon by the souls of countless who have spent a week traversing the Appalchian trail and who crave comfort in the arms of the grim reaper’s lesser known cousin the grease reaper.
No other meal can compare. Greasy and salty, sweetened by the manufactured syrup soaking into those rubbery hotcakes. Pillowy and crispy hash brown squares consisting of “potato product”. Links of sausage made from pieces of the pig that not even dive bar mason jars would peddle. If valhalla be this, then all berserkers beware.
We were persistent and begged endlessly.
“We have to stay on schedule, don't you want to get to spend more time at the Ryan’s in Meridian,” Mr. Groome attempted to reason with us, catering to our blood lust for large quantities of deep fried and salty foods slopped in an endless buffet. But he failed to think about how time passes for children. It drags endlessly, lurching forward in slow motion, what we think of as adults as simply an hour is an eternity to a child. What they also failed to realize is how loud we can get. Children can whine and bellow enough to cause even the most mild mannered human to reconsider existence.
We succeeded. Droves of Boy Scouts flooded into the Murphy McDonalds like it was the beaches of Normandy. I waited in line barely able to contain myself. Peeking from side to side around the person in front of me, making silent prayers to the fast food gods for them to make their orders faster. Finally, I reached the cashier.
Boy Scouts invade McDonalds - Murphy, NC - 1994
“One big breakfast with hotcakes, please.” I order with baited breath.
“That will be $3.25,” the cashier punched into the register, you heard that right. It was 1994, two scrambled eggs, two hotcakes, a biscuit, a hashbrown, syrup, and a small orange juice cost less that a two liter coke today.
I pull out my little wallet and rip the velcro apart only to find it empty. I spent my money the previous day at the Nantahala Outdoor Center on Andes Mint Ice Cream bars and a book on Taoism that I only bought because it described the philosophy through pictures of Winnie the Pooh. I was seven, by the way, and had no real ability to comprehend inaction, simplicity, and harmony with nature. I liked Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too.
I looked over to Mr Groome who chose to abstain from the fast food debauchery and instead eat leftover pizza from the night before. He shook his head and offered me a slice of cold pizza.
“Chapter three of your Winnie the Pooh book states that ‘Money does not guarantee happiness’ or in your case, breakfast.”
Murphy used to be a one-stop-shop. A sleepy town of maybe 3,000 people, valleyed in the Blue Ridge Mountains, hidden from the world. Murphy was a town where you realized the dream of rustic living, where the real world did not have possession. It was an intersection between abject wilderness and civilization. As I drive through it now, the wave of modernization has crested. It has a Walmart and a Casino, two of the pillars that define progress.
I’m here too early.
Despite the wave of progress, small-town comforts still imbue this town. It’s a Sunday morning and nothing is open save churches and a small restaurant that defies the pull of a simpler life. Modernization is a lovely tool to be used when it benefits your more basal desires, however, it’s reach is only so far. Much of this area provides no business while the church is in service. Jesus has no time for capitalism.
Jesus with absolutely no time for capitalism - Mark 11:15-18
I walk into a bar… or is it a restaurant?… book store? Oh My?!?! There’s a performer out front who should be playing music in a more lucrative position. He’s Talented. I walk in and buy the most expensive two shots of Baily’s coffee ever, sit outside, light a cigarette, and relax. This is the calm before the storm. I have to wait until noon for Valley River Brewery and Eatery to open, but the wait is well worth it. The beer is tasty and the pizzas are delicious.
Located on Tennessee Street in Murphy in the heart of downtown, Valley River Brewery offers a cozy tap room and restaurant where the brew is as well crafted as its wood-fired pizzas. Opening in 2014, Valley River has been a mainstay in Murphy and boasts as the starting line for “The North Carolina Beer Trail”. With over 11 house beers on tap, I had to make an executive decision to only taste eight… That promise to limit myself is broken in about three hours.
Valley River Brewery and Eatery - Murphy, NC
My first flight bubbled with the “Murphy Irish Stout”, “Jackrabbit Blonde”, “Green Dragon ESB”, and the “Amber Knight”. The Murphy Irish Stout displays a deep pecan color with a slight chocolate aroma. It's a surprisingly crispy stout that starts with a hint of chocolate and finishes with liquorice. Jackrabbit Blonde is a Blonde Ale showcasing an aura of yellow with a citrus smell. It’s light and crispy, starting with a subtle citrus flavor followed by a low-key bitterness.
Green Dragon is an Extra Special Bitter that is bronze in color with an earthy smell. It’s very hoppy and malty with a bitterness that leaves me feeling like I licked a penny. Amber Knight is an Amber Lager providing a tinged yam color with caramel smell. It’s an intensely hoppy lager with a sweet brown sugar finish that’s rather delightful and balances out the beverage perfectly.
My second set of flights glowed with the “Ducktown Porter”, “El Hefe”, “Sunshine IPA”, and the “Hanging Dog”. Ducktown Porter is a classic Porter appearing with a hickory color and a chocolate aroma. It tingles with a sweet start with a toffee finish. Sunshine IPA is a delightful Indian Pale Ale exhibiting marigold coloring with a subdued citrus and hoppy smell. It starts off sweet and tangy and follows with a delicate hoppiness. Hanging Dog is a Double IPA emerging with a delicious honey color. It imparts a strong bitterness from beginning to end. This brew leaves no doubts that it’s a double IPA, providing no sweetness to balance the bitterness. Hoppy lovers will crawl through hell for it.
The star of the flights for me was the El Hefe, a beautifully mellow yellow colored Hefeweizen enticing the nostrils with a citrus and banana aroma. Although it's a pretty standard Hefeweizen that starts off sweet, ending with a banana twist, the wedge of orange adds the right depth of sweetness and citrus to make you want to order pint after pint. I definitely did.
And that was how I managed to embarrass myself, promoting the website and writing like I was the second coming of Jack Kerouac. That’s how you learn your limits. May the Brew Gods help me when I get to the Asheville leg of the journey. Can I manage 16 breweries in five days if I’m acting foolishly and impulsive now. Hell yeah!
Valley River Brewery and Eatery is open on Monday and Thursday through Saturday from 11am to 8:30pm and Sunday from 12pm to 8:30pm. The brewery invites you with a cozy interior that feels like home, with blackboards around the bar area allowing for quick changes to the beer and food menus. You’ll always feel welcomed whether it's for a pint of beer or a slice of pizza.
Now… where’s that McDonalds? I want my hotcakes.
Address:
Valley River Brewery
71 Tennessee St
Murphy, NC 28906
Social Media:
https://valleyriverbreweries.com/
https://www.facebook.com/ValleyRiverBrewery/
Stories of Humanity, Beer, and Burrow
By Ian Guevara
Every brewery has a story. It can be a story about the place itself, or more likely, stories about the people in them.
Breweries are places where you learn about people. Their dreams, desires, passions, professions, tales, and travels are all laid bare in a brewery. Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet. And a brewery is the perfect place to spark a conversation with a stranger. The art of conversation may be a dwindling practice in the information age. Sure, we find solace in making idle conversation with the people we already know, but learning about a stranger and hearing their story has evaporated from the nexus of humanity.
That’s what makes breweries unique. You get to learn about people and humanity along with the culture and daily life of the local area.
As a student and teacher of history, it's these stories that fascinate me and keep me invigorated. Like a shot of espresso while working late at night. You walk in, make a comment about an article of clothing, eavesdrop on a conversation, or simply pet a dog. These things instantly spark a conversation. This could lead to a long lasting friendship that brings you enrichment and joy, or these conversations could lead to absolutely nothing. A brief moment in time spent with a random individual.
Either way you leave with something. An addition to your soul. A badge from the heavens that speaks to your humanity. You carry it everywhere you go from there, spreading the ideas, thoughts, and passions shared from one place to another. It's infectious. From brewery to brewery, from bar to bar, you spread these ideas and compassion for all. There’s no inoculation, you have to accept it and spread it.
It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon as I hit the road, my compass points towards the Hayesville Brewing Company. In front of me lies an incredible sight: a hazy blue mound rises above the highway, towering over my destination. The mountain scenery here is unparalleled and captivating. These mountains have stories to tell too, you just have to listen.
I’m following the directions on my phone and the signal cuts. T-mobile lied about its coverage… big surprise. Thankfully, I possess the most useless skill in the history of humanity: an eidetic memory of maps and locations. When people say everyone is born with a skill that will make them successful, they mean other skills like math, science, and entrepreneurship. If I told that same person that my skill was memorizing maps and locations, they’d change it to “most people are born with a skill that will make them successful.”
As I pull into a gravel parking lot I’m immediately greeted by a hand painted sign and the smell of BBQ, omens that serve as the main beecon for all visitors to Hayesville Brewing Company. I’m already happy, a smile from ear to ear, excited to discover what follows.
Backpack on, sunglasses set, hat on backwards, and lushess hair flowing I walk towards a small operation snuggled next to farm pastures and a lone road that evaporates into the mountainside. As I take a picture of the scenic and quaint setting, my leg is licked. I look down to see a happy-go-lucky yellow lab named Maggie. Her owner, Rob, sits casually among the outdoor tables and chairs, puffing on his cigarette and sipping on a pint of tasty beer.
Rob is a retiree from Florida and Colorado, escaping first the heat of Florida, then the droves of West Coasters hoarding into Colorado like a reverse Gold Rush. Rob and I talk for a bit and wax poetically about the Gospel of beer and its meaning to community and culture. We talk about labs, I owned three as a child, and rattlesnakes briefly before I make my way into the tap room to survey the brew and setting.
As I sit for my first flight I see a couple walk in whom with I briefly talked at a previous barstop for lunch. My kind of people. Woody and Jenna are coming from North Georgia where Woody runs the family farm. Jenna is from Winsconsin, near Kenosha she sheepishly admits. What connects us immediately is our shared love of breweries. They too travel to as many as they can. Woody admits to craving a simple, cold, and crispy Busch Light after work (this man loves his dad beers) but loves to indulge in craft beers searching for the stories each beer tells.
The couple share with me their own beer adventures, traveling around Wisconsin and even staying in the New Glarus campground. I promptly imagined a campground owned and operated by the New Glarus Brewery. Beer tents, beer slides, and beer baths oh boy! Woody dashes my hopes: New Glarus campground is in a state park outside of the town New Glarus.
The door to the tap room swings open and Cheyenne walks in, the bartender from Nocturnal Brewing Company! She’s accompanied by her husband Jacob and they sit and enjoy that intoxicating BBQ I mentioned earlier. Jacob’s an engineer, an Auburn grad, and an Atlanta Falcons fan… I won't hold that against him. We dive into the heaviest conversation to exist in the South: SEC football.
From Bo Jackson to Bo Nix, from Russel to Burrow, we applaud and commiserate in the collective stops and starts of two college programs that eschew sustained success and ride the roller coaster of mediocrity and prize. And of course, I push the debate to the fact that Joe Burrow is a living god of football. The perfect conversation for the bar.
Hayesville Brewing Company rests upon the scenic Tusquittee Street right outside of downtown Hayesville, North Carolina. Along with an array of well crafted beers, Hayesville Brewing Company offers an intimate tap room and a scenic outdoor setting where you will share stories with locals and travelers alike. The beers are more than fairly priced, especially considering the taste and quality.
The owners, Jody and Leisa Jensen first set up their laboratory off of Highway 64 in 2017, creating a restaurant and bar. After outgrowing the location, the couple sold the restaurant and moved their brewing operations to its current location. They make a cornucopia of delicious beers out of their small operation, proving that craftsmanship and love of beer always leads to success.
My first flight was filled with the “WNC Wheat”, “Duck and Cover”, “Baby Got Bock”, and “Cowpie”. The WNC is a Wheat Beer displaying a light clear yellow that glows in color, with a slight buttery aroma. It’s crispy, with a bready aftertaste that approaches perfection with a slice of orange floating in its foam. Duck and Cover provides a brownish and red color like a proper Irishman. It’s malty and sweet to start and finishes with a wonderful caramel flavor.
Baby Got Bock showcases a dark brown, almost cola color with a chocolatey smell. It starts off malty and sweet and is followed by a delightful chocolate flavor. Cowpie is a Dad Beer candidate Pilsner showing a lively gold color with a slight hoppy aroma. It’s tremendously crispy and sweet giving an earthy flavor to start followed by a subtle bitterness.
My second flight flowed with the “Yellow Jacket”, “Possum Drop”, “Uncle Fest’r”, and “EZ-PZ”. Yellow Jacket is a standard IPA appearing with an old gold color and a super hoppy smell. It provides a sweet and slightly fruity taste to start followed by a balanced bitterness. Possum Drop is a chocolate and coffee Porter exhibiting a deep burnt oak color with a thrilling chocolate and coffee aroma. It’s malty and chocolaty sweet to start followed by the balanced bitterness of coffee.
Uncle Fest’r is an Oktoberfest Ale that would make any German cheer “Prost!” Reddish brown in color with a hint of maltiness, Uncle Fest’r is sweet and malty to start, finishing with a splendid bitterness. EZ-PZ is a Blond Ale revealing a light gold and shades of hay in color. Light, crispy, tasty and slightly sweet, EZ-PZ starts slightly bready with a fascinating malty finish.
Hayesville Brewing Company is open Saturday through Tuesday from 12pm to 6pm. The brewery offers a cozy tap room, scenic outdoor seating, and a rocking BBQ food truck. It delivers eight house beers, each one as tasty as the next. Locals, dogs, travelers, and drifters like myself are all welcome to enjoy stories of life and occasionally SEC football debates.
Remember: Every beer has a story. Every brewery has a story. Every person has a story. Don’t be afraid to pet a dog and talk to a stranger. The only danger is leaving without a new story.
Address:
Hayesville Brewing Company
516 Tusquittee St
Hayesville, NC 28904
Social Media:
https://hayesvillebrewingco.com/
https://www.facebook.com/lleisa5678/
Running Down the Dad Beers
By Ian Guevara
It’s funny how a song can elicit emotions buried deep, whether through nostalgia or simply exaggerating a current moment in life.
I’m flying down State Highway 141, a little connector between Highways 19 and 64, that serves as a shortcut between Hayesville and Andrews, North Carolina. The highway twists and turns through gorgeous hillside mansions and rustic white trash shanties where all the possessions of that family lay strewn on the front lawn for any bystander to view.
This road stinks.
I hate this highway. Every time I lay rubber to pavement on this godforsaken road there is an obstacle. Slow moving trailers, wandering cyclists, and endless debris that falls off trucks like a morsel of roast beef from a soggy Po-Boy. This time it is construction. They are creating a new two-lane highway, how 20th century of them. Mixed among the heavy fog of asphalt rests the odious odor of rotting roadkill. It permeates through my AC and vents to the point that I fear it will soak the interior. Flashes of the Seinfeld episode “The Smelly Car” bounces in my head. Thankfully it deteriorates as I reach the intersection of Highways 141 and 19. And I’m gifted with a moment that I made sure I lived in as much as possible.
“Running Down a Dream”, by the late Tom Petty, blares through my pedestrian speakers into the mountain air. Windows open, hair flowing, I imagine I’m simply living the vision that Tom Petty conjured when he wrote his poetry. It's a song of discovery and delight. Just the emotions I feel when I pass through these little mountain hollers.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Runnin’ Down a Dream -1989
Literally the first lines of the song serendipitously describe the moment:
“It was a beautiful day, the sun beat down
I had the radio on, I was drivin'”
Songs like this are locked and loaded in my legendary “Mountain Mix” playlist. Ready to fire in the perfect moment and this was it. The afternoon sun glazed the mountains ahead in a greenish and gold aura contrasted by the blue of the sky.
Truly god’s country, if you believe in this sort of thing.
“Yeah, runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me
Workin' on a mystery, goin' wherever it leads
Runnin' down a dream”
I turn right toward Andrews, North Carolina and am gifted with a staggering view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. A select mountain range that dominates the panorama of Andrews is known as the Snowbird Mountains. It's the namesake of the brewery to which I am heading. It towers over the town as a protector, a silent guardian, from modernization and encroaching civilization. It has preserved this town, kept it locked in amber to remain beautiful, quaint, and quiet.
Snowbird Mountains, NC
“There's something good waitin' down this road
I'm pickin' up whatever's mine”
Twice previously I’ve visited Snowbird Mountain Brewing Company. Each time is as pleasant as the next.
This time I met with fellow travelers who were drinking their way through the Western Carolina breweries as well. They hailed from various places like New Jersey, Atlanta, and Florida. Exotic lands only patronized by people with weird accents and bad football teams. Nevertheless, Snowbird Mountain Brewing Company never ceases to offer a comforting environment and a friendly conversation.
Resting right off of the Main Street of the sleepy town of Andrews, Snowbird Mountain Brewing Company offers a rustic, yet modern, tap room replete with hand-crafted benches, tables, and chairs all produced by the owners, Linda and Terry Vaughn. The house beer selection can only be described as “Dad Beer Heaven”, focusing solely on IPAs, Ales, and Lagers. Costa sunglasses, Guy Hardy T-Shirts, jean shorts, and flip flops are the dress requirements for entering this premises.
Snowbird Mountains Brewery - Andrews, NC
Paulie, one of the aforementioned travelers, offers to buy me my first flight. Who am I to refuse the generosity of a stranger? The flight consisted of “Riptide”, “Brigadier Bernie”, “Lovey”, and Linda’s”. Dad Beers to the fourth power. Riptide is an IPA showing an alluring gold color and a pungent hoppy smell. The beer is a hoppy and flavorful IPA with a nice sweetness to temper the bitterness. Brigadier Bernia is a Pale Ale possessing a reddish gold color. Its sweet and citrus start with a smoky finish while being slightly hoppy with a floral aftertaste.
Lovey and Linda’s are both Lagers showcasing light gold colors that almost resemble hay. Lovey smells like a fresh loaf of bread and smacks of crisp and nuttines. Meanwhile, Linda’s had only a slight crisp with a sweet and nutty forward taste that finishes with a slight hoppiness. Dad Beers… all the Dad Beers… I’m flooded with visions of New Balance tennis shoes and white tube socks.
My next flight was filled with “Bimbo”, “Malt and Pepper”, “Trainwreck”, and “Old lodge”. Bimbo is the Snowbird classic beer, on tap during every visit the past three summers. Bimbo displays a Mellow yellow color with a floral and hoppy smell. Its sweet and salty to start, followed by a mellow sourness. Malt and Pepper is Pale Ale with a deep reddish and gold color. It's crispy and bitter at the very beginning with a sweet start, finishing with a slight bitterness. Trainwreck is another IPA presenting a gold color with a slight bitterness that follows with a sweet aftertaste that hides the bitterness.
The star of the day was Old Lodge, a Lager parading an amber gold color with a sweet and fruity smell. Its crispy, light, and fruity that starts sweet and ends with a citrus punch. Dad Beers… all the Dad Beers… somewhere a ratchet strap has been snapped followed by “That’s not going anywhere”.
Snowbird Mountain Brewing Company is open Thursday through Sunday from 2pm-8pm, but the hours have changed in the summer, so just call ahead first to make sure. The brewery provides a wonderful and comfortable tap room with a rustic, yet modern, interior and a spacious outdoor patio. The beers are constantly changing and the owner is perpetually experimenting so find yourself a variation of a Dad Beer you like, sit, back and enjoy.
Next to you find yourself running down the dream-like scenery of Western Carolina, let the tunes take you to find a tasty drink.
Address:
Andrews Brewing Company
378 Locust St
Andrews, NC 28901
Social Media:
https://www.snowbirdmountainsbrewery.com/
https://www.instagram.com/snowbirdmountainsbrewery/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/smbrewery/
https://untappd.com/w/snowbird-mountains-brewery/432865
Sidequest:
As I walked out the door of Snowbird Mountain Brewing Company I began to walk down Main St in search of a quiet place to sit and write my reviews. The coffee shop was closed… just my luck… wait, what’s this? Catacorner from the trusty Nissan Frontier: The Tattered Tartan Pub. I open the doors and am immediately assaulted with the intoxicating smell of greasy, cheesy, and fresh hamburgers. My drunk mind was wheeling. Should my diet be damned? It's only a burger? I can hike an extra four miles tomorrow, playing Kate Bush’s “Running Up that Hill'' on repeat, right? No, I behaved. But I did grab a pint. Good Ship Wit Beer by Foothills Brewing, it was tasty, refreshing, and just what I needed to get the creative juices flowing. The staff is super knowledgeable and friendly, and extremely proud of their Scottish heritage. Definitely a place to visit.
The Tattered Tartan Pub - Andrews, NC
Mist, Motels, and Mountain Brews
By Ian Guevara
“I’m not gonna make it,” Austin said, exasperated from his nearly 100 mile journey on the Appalachian Trail.
We hoofed it up to Wayah Bald to camp for the night. Louie, Jonathan, Homelessman, and I first saw Austin as he slowly climbed the trail, knee braces, poles, and pack plodding up the sharp climb from Wayah Crest.
Austin was destined for the Nantahala Outdoor Center, an outdoors store that rests on the confluence of the Nantahala River and the Appalachian Trail. His feet were literally one single blister, red, bruised, and bloodied by torrential rain and endless switchbacks.
We met Austin Cash at the base of the Wayah Bald Fire Tower, as a mist fell upon us, and talked about the Appalachian Trail. There’s a kinship involved around those who’ve seen the same peaks and smelled the same mountain air. We talked of shared sights seen and campsites slept. Deep Gap, Standing Indian Mountain, Bear Pen Gap, and Albert Mountain, all the standard sights on the southern leg of the North Carolina Appalachians.
Wayah Bald Fire Tower, NC
As the rain turned from mist to sheets, we huddled inside the base of the tower, sheltered from the schizophrenic mountain weather.
“Would you like a beer, bro?” I asked opening up a small cooler displaying a six pack of Coors Light tall boys.
Austin sipped the golden brew and his eyes showed a glint of rejuvenation. Days of trail fatigue evaporated as he sipped the plebian brew.
“This is the best beer I’ve ever tasted,” he exaggerated, obviously just happy to taste a little bit of normalcy.
Austin was only supposed to stop at Wayah Bald for a quick rest, looking to make his way to Cold Springs Shelter some six miles up the trail. He ended up staying the night at Wayah Bald.
We grilled burgers, through a relentless mist, in one of those state park grilling stations where you play tetanus roulette trying to remember when the last time you received a booster. Again, Austin’s soul was invigorated by the taste of grilled red meat and Homlessman’s hors d'oeuvres: a simple addition of ritz crackers, mayo, tomato, and jalapeno. True mountain living.
The Relentless Mist
As we began to set up camp for the night, Austin was at a crossroads. Should he hike the 20 plus miles to the Nantahala Outdoor Center to meet his pickup, OR, ask us for a ride to the trailhead?
His answer was easy, take the ride.
So I picked up a hitchhiker for the second time, on the Appalachian Trail, with Louie for the second time.
We stuffed ourselves into my trusty Nissan Frontier and made our way down the mountain. As we rode I waxed poetically over my love of casino table games. At the trailhead, Austin was effusive with gratitude. He offered us money for the ride, but Mr. Groome’s philosophy of helping those in need overpowered by lust for gas and beer money. Austin, disregarding my egalitarianism, found my Venmo, and sent me $100 for “Casinos and Beer”.
Austin is the dude crammed in the back seat next to the window.
We were supposed to drive up to Telico Gap, then hike to Wesser Bald and hammock camp on top of Wesser Bald. The weather for Wesser looked to be the same as Wayah so we took that as an excuse to relax.
“We have credit cards, we’re adults, screw it! Let's get a hotel room and relax,” I rationalized.
We traveled south along Highway 19 to Andrews, North Carolina and settled ourselves in the worst Quality Inn $100 a night could afford. As we rolled up in the parking lot, after we paid our tithe to the hotel gods, each room door was open with fans wafting a mildew stench into the mountain air. We didn't care. We just wanted hot showers and a taste of the breweries that Adrews had to offer.
That’s how we ended up at Hoppy Trout Brewing Company.
Hoppy Trout Brewing Company - Andrews, NC
Hoppy Trout sits on the Main Street of Andrews, North Carolina. Its nondescript location contrasts its ability to excite the taste buds of any beer lover. The brewery provides an intimate bar-like atmosphere with a pizza kitchen that entices the nostrils as soon as you enter.
Since that fateful collection of a hitchhiker and his debt, I have returned on several occasions. Each time is a trip in itself. Great music, experimental beers, and incredible pizza meets you at any visit to Hoppy Trout. Today I am visited by Chis, the excellent bartender and part-timer brewer.
My first flight consisted of “Blood of My Enemies”, “From Sauna to Sea”, “Squeeze of the Day”, and “Pterodactyl in Suits”. Blood of My Enemies is a delightful Sour that possesses a beautiful red color that almost glows. It has an excellent crisp for a sour where its sourness hits immediately but is tempered by a delightful citrus aftertaste. Squeeze of the Day is a Blood Orange Wit that displays a hazy yellow color and is light, ariy, crispy, and slightly sweet. Squeeze provides a little saltiness and makes for a great summer beer.
The Pose
Pterodactyl in Suits is a solid Saison with a gold pitch and a smell of cucumber and spice. It delivers a refreshing cucumber punch with a subtle jalapeno aftertaste that sits on the back of the tongue and dances.
From Sauna to the Sea is a Finnish Sahti Ale that is the star of this tour. It's a deep gold. The juniper and spruce smell almost assaults you, but in a good way. This is a different beer, one that I’ve never tasted before, it tastes like Christmans. It's an odd ale that you just want to keep unwrapping to find more presents.
My final flights were filled with “Wentzek^3”, “Kilty Pleasures”, “Impress the King”, and “Juggling Molecules”. Wentzek^3 is a Belgian Tripel showing a straw gold color, a yeasty smell, and a floral and sweet forward taste with a slight spiciness that follows. Kilty Pleasures is a Scottish Ale on Nitro showing a brown, burnt caramel color that’s tasty, dark, and mysterious.
A slight variation on The Pose
Impress the King is a standard Stout Deep showcasing a dark chocolate and red amber with a chocolatey smell and an oaky taste balanced with a sweet flavor. Juggling Molecules is a straight-forward IPA with an old gold color and a hoppy smell that hits up front. Juggling provides a hop forward flavor that's tasty. Even though it has sweetness for balance, it is a perfectly crafted IPA.
Hoppy Trout Brewing Company is open from Tuesday to Saturday from 2pm to 9pm. The brewery provides a great local bar feel with a great selection of hand-tossed pizzas. It headlines over 10 house beers, a cider, and a rootbeer that may be all sampled on a barrel slat called “The Jury”, just make sure you have a partner with you because they require two to make that ride.
Don't ever be afraid to give someone a ride, you may end up drunk, fat, and happy.
Address:
Hoppy Trout Brewing Company
911 Main Street
Andrews, NC 28901
Social Media:
https://hoppytroutbrewing.com/
https://www.facebook.com/HoppyTrout/
https://www.instagram.com/hoppytroutbrewing/?hl=en
Playlists, Detours, and Squid Ink
By Ian Guevara
Good road trips require good playlists. This isn’t a suggestion, its cannon law going back to the first road trip ever taken. I imagine Henry Ford, in his opulent wealth, employed dozens of ragtime bands from the Ford plant to downtown Detroit just to nod his head for on those 19th century cobbled roads.
I have a playlist for such occasions. It's called the “Mountain Mix'' playlist, and it's played on every road trip on which I embark. It has exploded to 254 songs and 18 hours, with artists ranging from Neil Young, to the Grateful Dead, to The New Riders of the Purple Sage.
This playlist first began in the late summer of 2019. The school year was approaching like a tsunami of dread and stress on the horizon. I needed one more summer adventure to stave off this existential dread that seeps into every teacher's soul in the two weeks before the beginning of the school year. I called up Jonathan, HMJ, and Homelessman to see if they were interested in one last hooray. As always, they were game for adventure.
We called it “The Boys” trip, the four us tucked snuggly in my small Nissan Frontier truck with the bed filled to the brim in unnecessary gear (the scout motto is “Always be prepared” right?). The night before, I devilishly downloaded dozens of songs for the trip, the goal was to download nine hours worth of material to satiate any driver’s needs from New Orleans to the Blue Ridge Mountains.
The Boys Trip - 2019
It was mainly the Grateful Dead, Neil Young, and the Tucker Marshall Band. But It was set and it was glorious.
We left early on Sunday morning with the hopes of reaching this po-dunk gas station in Cleveland, Tennessee that serves the most delicious breakfast biscuit sandwiches any human could consume. It was closed, and a blow was made to my gut. We endeavored, however, sustaining ourselves on shriveled Circle K hot dogs and Zebra cakes. Food of the road trip gods.
Our destination was the Standing Indian Campground. Rising 3,500 feet above sea-level, the campground offers nightime temperatures in the mid-50s no matter how close earth is to its roasting death. The perfect basecamp for tomfoolery and respite.
Between Murphy, North Carolina and the campsite there is no cellular signal and a sole Ingles grocery store that rises out of the woods like a Gibraltar of Highway 64. It has a Starbucks and wifi. The road trip gods must’ve been shining on me. As I pulled up Apple maps to get my bearings and plot the course to the campsite, I realized something.
“Holy shit guys, there’s an actual town over that hill,” I pointed, still staring at my Apple maps confounded by my discovery, “And boys… there’s a brewery up yonder.” Yes, I sometimes talk like a 1849 prospector.
Without question, our adventurers raced into the little sleepy mountain town of Hayesville, North Carolina. This is where the expression “one-horse town” found its genesis. Main Street opens briefly into a town square where all of the shops, restaurants, and insurance agencies rest. As James Taylor's Carolina on My Mind guided us through the town, there at the southwestern corner of the square was Nocturnal Brewing Company.
Nocturnal Brewing Company - Haysville, NC - 2019
We couldn't stay long enough for the full experience, but Jonathan and I promised ourselves to return, at least to grab another beer and buy a t-shirt. And return we have, on several occasions, and each time Nocturnal has grown in size of its operations and beer selection.
Opened in October of 2018, Nocturnal Brewing Company offers a dizzying array of options for any patron. From the sleek and trendy interior tap room to the outdoor seating, Nocturnal provides a care-free experience where exceptionally crafted beers are consumed and locally sourced food is expertly prepared.
As you know by now, my standard motive of operation is a flight of all the beers created at the brewery. Unfortunately, Nocturnal doesn’t provide flights of beers. However, after ordering a pint of their Gose, Cheyenne the bartender, offered to give me shot glass samples of each beer on tap. Life finds a way, as Ian Maloclm onced waxed poetically.
Cheyenne slipped the house beer menu in front of me and placed a sample of each beer over the name of every craft. Yellows, golds, ambers, and chocolates danced before me like a parade on St. Charles Ave. Sampled were “Space Is a Place”, “Saison Fleur De Sel”, “Quanassee Sunshine”, “Life on the Nautilus”, “Lichtenhainer”, “Quanassee Moonlight”, “Trail Mix”, and “Nightcrawler”.
Space is a Place is a Cold IPA, a new method of brewing an IPA straight from the Pacific Northwest. It's very bitter and hoppy from beginning to end. Space is a Place has a lasting bitterness and no sweetness to balance it out. However, it's clearly refined and has hints of corn that makes it a tasty outing. Saison Fleur De Sol is a delectable Saison that’s malty, light, and refreshing. Slightly salty and great for summer.
Lichtenhainer is a Sour Smoked Wheat beer that's very sour with a hint of smokiness. While the sourness is definitely puckering, it has a citrus aftertaste that smooths out the sour flavor. Quanassee Moonlight is a Bavarian Style Dunkelweizen that’s a thicker and darker cousin of the Hefeweizen. Oakey at the beginning followed by the mellow banana flavor to smooth it out.
Trail Mix is a Nut Brown Ale displaying an alluring, light brown color. Nutty and sweet in the beginning ita followed by an awesome coffee flavor that leaves you wanting more. Finally, Nightcrawler is a Dry Irish Stout that’s a lighter stout that still carries the atypical brown head and deep chocolate color. THe brew possesses an extremely malty and flavorful taste that makes for a decent dark summer beer.
The two stars of the day are the Quannassee Sunshine, a Bavarian Style Hefeweizen and Life on the Nautilus, a standard Gose. Quannassee Sunshine is light, crispy, and has a clove forward taste in the beginning that follows with a mellow banana flavor afterward. Makes me think that it deserves its own category of “Summer desert beers”. Life on the Nautilus POPS with crispiness and leaves you in the clouds never wanting to return. As I was tasting it I kept thinking that there was something else in it I couldn't pinpoint. I looked at the beer menu and there it was… SQUID INK!!!! Definitely interesting and unique.
Nocturnal Brewing Company is open on Wednesday through Friday from 11am to 9pm and Saturday from 12pm to 9pm. The brewery provides a refined tap room and a kitchen that pumps out locally-sourced food that is as good as its fresh. Its eight house beers are all equally delectable and are best consumed outside under shaded confines.
Next time you’re on a road trip, just let the playlist guide you, you’ll never be disappointed.
Address:
Nocturnal Brewing Company
893 US 64 Business
Hayesville, NC 28904
Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/nocturnalbrewingco/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/nocturnalbrewing/
Boats, Broken Fingers, and Beer
By Ian Guevara
“No… No this seat won’t do,” my butt was uncomfortable. A picnic bench is not a place to review a beer. When you drink a beer, especially for the first time, comfort is paramount.
“Nah, not this one either,” I sank too low into a very comfortable, outside lounge, too impractical for a beer review.
I was Goldielocks, searching for something just right.
Wait, are those stairs? There’s an upstairs balcony looking over the mountains of Lake Chatuge and the quiet town of Hiawassee. In that upstairs balcony I found the landing spot for my behind. A row of delightfully cushioned outside furniture. Ahhh yes, this is the place. Surrounded by great scenery, great outdoor games, and great beer.
I’ve been to Hiawassee before. The previous two summers to be exact. Each time is better than the last. The first time was the summer of 2020, the pandemic summer. It was the perfect opportunity to escape the confines of those prisons we called homes and enjoy the outdoors where the pesky, but prudent, COVID restrictions were a little more laxed.
That summer I grew to know Hiawassee a little too well. We had a whole crew camping at a small country campground in Clay Country, NC, literally stone’s throw from Georgia. The crew consisted of me, Jonathan, Louie, Mike and Mike (ebony and ivory husbands), Baby Swan, Homelessman, and HMJ (Hot Mom Jon). We collectively yearned for freedom, fresh air, cooler weather, and adventure.
On the very first full day of the trip, we rented a speed boat to zip around Lake Chatuge, drink, eat, and tube at dangerous levels of speed. I drew the short straw and had to pilot the boat, no booze, no nothing. Have you ever piloted a boat for a bunch of drunken jackasses? I have a newfound empathy for that joker who went off the deep end captaining a deep sea fishing tour and keeping his belligerent guests captive at gunpoint for 18 hours.
Lake Chatuge -2020
“Go faster. Get us out of the wake. Slow down. Go over there. Dude, watch out for those other boats. You do know this thing can make tighter turns, right?” God help me.
It was Jonathan and HMJ’s turn to tube. And it was a piloting performance of a lifetime. I took the advice of the drunken fools and zigged and zagged at breakneck speeds, jumping my own wake on several occasions, reaching nearly 75 knots. I pulled the throttle, sharply spun the wheel, and accelerated. A master of my art. The tube on which Jonathan and HMJ occupied slapped a massive wake and popped into the air, sending its two riders flying some 20 feet into the atmosphere.
I was a proud captain who could have saved the Edmund Fitzgerald.
“Oh shit, I think Jonathan’s hurt,” HMJ exclaimed as I brought the boat around to see Jonathan swimming towards us with his hand straight up in the air, a finger obviously in a direction it doesn't belong.
He needed the emergency room and the only one in town was the Chatuge Regional Hospital in Hiawassee, GA. Poor Jonathan, I imagined, was heading to a hospital that hasn't seen modernization since Richard Nixon visited China. Quite the opposite, actually. Its a fine hospital, recently built with a capable staff… that was not able fix Jonahtan’s injury because it required minor surgery, and an xray… and an actual doctor which this hospital did not seemingly possess.
Jonathan eventually got a splint from a larger hospital in nearby Blairsville, ever the trooper, putting off surgery until after the two week adventure. However, the search for assistance led us to explore Hiawassee, Georgia. It has all the little comforts that small-town America offers. A cafe that’s littered with over a dozen 80s arcade games. A small artisanal coffee shop. A seafood restaurant run by Cajuns from Chauvin, Louisiana. And, of course, a brewery. You obviously know where my compass was pointed.
Hiawassee Brew is a gorgeous establishment replete with large tap room, a kitchen, an outdoor seating area, a stage for local musicians, and a balcony looking over the majestic Georgia Mountains. The brewery provides a host of house beers while carrying a taste of the local brews flowing from its taps.
I must have come in at a midpoint between brews because they only had three house brews available at the time I arrived. What better excuse to have to return?
I made sure to try all three of the house brews in my flight, plus two local samples. The house beers consisted of “Slippa Dippa”, “Madam Pele”, and “Midnight Cove”. The other local beers sampled were “Lord Grey” and “TKR”.
Sippa Dippa is a well produced IPA with a crazy beautiful hazy gold glow. The smell provides a pleasant citrus and floral aroma. When you first sip Sippa Dippa, it yields a muted sweetness and fruity taste followed by an equally muted bitter aftertaste. It's a theme now, I know, I have come around on IPAs. I guess It's like the first time I ever tasted a beer when I was the wee age of 7. I hated it. Now I can't live without it. If I end up drinking IPAs heavily while wearing a man-bun and waxing poetically about The Killers, put a bullet in me and end me.
Madam Pele is an atypical Stout with a deep and dark burnt oak brown. Surprisingly light for a stout, Madam Pele lures you in with a liquorice smell and flavor that starts sweet and ends with a cinnamon aftertaste. Because it's a lighter stout, this is definitely a beer to be drunk in pints proudly.
I had the honor to have the very first taste of Midnight Cove, a standard American Lager with some interesting variations and subtleties. My highest rated beer of the set, Midnight Cove is deep in color and flavor, but light and chocolaty. Enchanting the drinker with a light flavor, it absolutely makes itself a Dad Beer Hall of Fame inductee.
Lord Grey Sour comes out of 3 Taverns Brewery in Decatur, Georgia. It shines with a lovely mellow yellow color. A beer that beckons summer, its light, airy, and crispy and starts off sweet then follows with a puckering twist. TKR (pronounced “Tucker”) Pilsner comes out of Tucker Brewing Company in Tucker, Georgia. Dad Beer Alert. TKR is gold in color with a crisp that is screaming at me in German. It's also hoppy, with a floral and slightly bitter aftertaste.
Hiawassee Brew is open from Tuesdays through Thursdays from 11am to 8pm, Fridays and Saturdays from 11am to 9pm, and Sundays from 11am to 7pm. The brewery has an inviting tap room and a large outdoor venue that’s sheltered from the elements by a massive tin roof. Its balcony provides games such as giant jenga, giant connect four, and cornhole. The brewery cooks up some tasty morsels to satisfy your needs with a large menu highlighted by an excellent array of street tacos.
Hiawassee Brew - Hiawassee, GA
Next time a friend breaks a finger, don't pay them mind, be on the lookout for good beer, it's always near and cures all ailments.
Address:
Hiawassee Brew
616 S Main St
Hiawassee, Georgia 30546
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063583689059
4th of Brew-ly
By Ian Guevara
The crack of cold one and the popping of fireworks. It’s the United States’s birthday, and these are the notes of its symphony. Coolers filled to the brim with hoppy and malty beverages are as synonymous with the country as the colors red, white, and blue. Beer is a quintessential American beverage. The United States of America was born out of beer.
Obviously we didn’t invent it. Some archeologists believe that fermented cereals existed among some nomadic semedic people nearly 13,000 years ago. Throughout history, beer has traveled with humanity as its constant companion. From the cradle of civilization in Mesopotamia, to Xia Dynasty of China, to Ancient Egypt beer served as a necessary tool for survival. The complex carbohydrates and simple proteins gave people the necessary nutrition to further human advancement.
Some 400 years ago the first wave of European immigrants crashed upon the shores of the North American continent. English, Dutch, and German souls, braving the elements of an unknown land brought with them kegs of beer, stored away in their ships, with a singular intended purpose. Survival.
Unlike the Native Americans, who understood the land around them and basic principles of hygiene, the European immigrants were consistently sick from simply drinking water. They did not, for some reason, realize that their own waste, along with their domesticated animals, would enter streams and rivers. This created an environment rife with cholera and dysentery.
But who was there to prevent this? To allow these proto-Americans to survive? To keep them hydrated? To provide them complex carbohydrates and simple proteins? Beer. Beer was their answer. Gallons of beer, watered down of course, were consumed by early Americans to prevent the spread of these waterborne diseases. Even children were given beer in the form of a hard cider and molasses mixed drink called “Ciderkin”.
At the birth of this fair nation, beer became the backbone of American life. Taverns became the meeting places for political debates, gossip, and negotiation. Ben Franklin used taverns as a “tool of diplomacy” when engaging with rival representatives. Discussions of revolution were boasted loudly, fear of reprisal numbed by the buzz of beer. It was over a round of beers that the Declaration of Independence was written, debated, and signed. Sure, Ben Franklin did most of the drinking, but it was his intoxicated guidance that led to us “dissolving the political bonds” with England.
Beer has been with us since. Guiding us and caring for us through our history. Giving us the courage to do what was foolish and sometimes right. Through the darkest and most tragic pages of our history to our brightest and most triumphant. Beer has always been there for us.
So do the most American thing possible on her birthday. Crack open some cold ones, meet with friends, and boastfully plot out revolutionary plans to improve this fair country. Because that’s what beer is for: it’s the elixir of democracy and freedom.
Flooded Trails and Pale Ales
By Ian Guevara
“Let’s go camp on top of a mountain,” I said with a devilish grin, pulling out a brochure from a massive display in an Alabama rest stop only miles from Meridian, Mississippi.
It had been a pretty disastrous trip up until that point. Originally, Mike, Baby Swan, Will, and I intended to backpack the 39 mile Black Creek Trail over a four day period. For weeks we prepared. Packed dehydrated food, collected stacks of trail snacks, and procured a water filter and a dining fly from our old Boy Scout troop. I spent weeks hiking the levee on the lakefront, broke in a new pair of boots, and focused on ultra-light backpacking.
We arrived at the Fairley Bridge Landing relatively late on a Friday night. Apparently in the 10 years since I had last seen this trail, the Fairley Bridge Landing park was no longer designated for camping. Furthermore, when we arrived a thin piece of pink marking tape stretched across the road to the park. It was dark, we were tired, and we just wanted to sleep. I walked to the tape and barely touched it and it fell to the ground.
“Ooops,” I chuckled, then began talking to an imaginary state trooper, “I swear officer, we didnt see the tape when we drove up.”
That night we set camp, relaxed and fell asleep to the cool March Mississippi night. The next morning I walked to the creekside embankment, a bluff that’s normally some 30 feet above the creek. As I began to relieve myself, I heard the sound of water dropping into water instead of the rustle of leaves. I wiped the sleep from my eyes to see the Black Creek was nearly 30 feet above its normal level and rising.
“Guys we gotta go… NOW,” I woke up everyone, we packed quickly, and headed to the nearest ranger station at Flint Creek Park. We walked into the station looking to see if our fears were correct, that the trail would be closed and unusable.
“Hi, we camped at Fairley Bridge Landing last nigh-,” before I could finish, the ranger interrupted me.
“Fairley? How you boys ain't soaked. That park is five feet under water right now.”
My morning bladder saved our lives. Backpacking the Black Creek trail was totally out of the question. We quickly debated our options. Go back home and have an extended break? Find another trail close by? Camp at the local Boy Scout camp?
“Let’s hike the AT!” I exclaimed. What a terrible idea. None of us would be prepared for such cold weather. It was early March, and there was still snow on some of the mountains. But we jumped in the vehicles and drove north.
Past Meridian is the Alabama welcome center. 25 years ago it used to serve free fountain drinks to weary travelers and thirsty kids. The rest stop no longer serves drinks, let alone has anyone working its desks. Just rows and rows and rows of travel brochures to advertise that part of Alabama that Nick Saban hasn’t plagued… yet. But there it was, like a beacon of light shining from the heavens, like the parting of the Red Sea, a brochure to camp on Cheaha Mountain, the highest point in Alabama.
We set off for Cheaha State Park, only stopping once for gas and an oversized pair of sweatpants in Oxford, Alabama. My only pants for this trip, and all of us could fit into these pants at one time. We called the office of the park to check for availability and to our surprise it was practically empty. That should have been a red flag. Not that the park’s facilities were sub par, they were more than adequate. No, it was the weather. It would be near 20 degrees every night and all we had in our possession was lightweight sleeping bags and a rain fly for shelter.
That experience did not deter us, we hiked all around the park, and had an amazing time. In the summer of 2020 I revisited the park for the first time in 10 years on a Labor Day weekend and since then have made trips every Easter and Labor Day weekend.
Cheaha State Park - Labor Day 2021
Only recently has the Alabama brewery scene started to pick up. Plagued by archaic laws and draconian rules regarding alcohol, Alabama was a no-man’s zone. Which is why it never occurred to me that there may be a brewery near Cheaha Mountain. There is now.
Coldwater Mountain Brewpub is tucked away in the corner of historic downtown Anniston, Alabama. Housed in an old railroad station that was built in 1895 and primarily exported cotton in its prime, it now serves a weigh station for folks who thirst for delicious craft beers and excellently cooked burgers.
This is a relatively new brewery, it was once the Cheaha Brewing Company. But Cheaha closed a number of years ago and the old train station remained vacant for years, waiting for the right people to rediscover it.
Tommy Stevens and Jason WIlson were those right people. Investors in one of the first breweries to rise out of the change in Alabama’s alcohol laws, Back Forty, Tommy and Jason were looking for a new venture. The way Tommy puts it, he saw the property while driving around Anniston, called the owner, and had the lease signed within a week. The investors were lucky to find much of the brewing equipment leftover from the previous establishment. They remodeled the building, built a kitchen, and created a friendly and comforting outside seating venue that looks over a small creek and views Coldwater Mountain in the distance.
Since they just opened in the last few months, the beer selection brewed by Coldwater Mountain Brewpub is limited, for now, with three beers. They do offer a considerable menu of beers from other local breweries on tap, including Back Forty, Straight to Ale, Ciderboys, and Ferus.
My flight featured the three beers brewed solely at Coldwater Mountain. “Trailhead”, “Bombdog”, and “Criterium” filled by flight glasses with a wonderful array of reddish and deep browns to golds. The Trailhead is a Pale Ale, named after the Coldwater Mountain bike trails that beckon riders from the region, that makes for an exceptional entry in the “Dad Beers” lineup. It hits on all the notes of a pale ale with a malty tone that hides a subtle bitterness.
Bombdog is a British IPA done well. It's not too bitter and is great for someone who wants to take down pint after pint. Bombdog has a long lasting after taste that's bitter, but not overpowering.
The star of the set was the Criterium, a simple Kolsch masterfully crafted. Boy is this a CRISPY beverage. Criterium carries a subtle fruity flavor with its initial taste and is only slightly bitter with its aftertaste. I still can’t get over its crispness. It’s a beer tailor made for Coldwater Mountain’s outside venue, a beer made to sit back, relax, listen to a babbling creek and watch the sun set behind the mountains surrounding Anniston.
Coldwater Mountain Brewpub is open Monday through Thursday from 11:30am-9:00pm, Friday and Saturday from 11:30am-10:00pm, and Sunday from 11:30am-5:00pm. The brewpub has a sleek interior with much of the original architecture of the old train station and big screen all over to satisfy any of your sports-viewing desires. Its kitchen definitely rivals the beers on tap. The pimento cheeseburger will knock you back and leave you making plans to return to relive that feeling of tasting it for the first time, chasing that dragon, and asking for more.
Sometimes fate brings you to places you can call home, Coldwater Mountain Brewpub feels like home and I have no doubt the food and beer is better than what sits in your fridge.
Sidequest:
Back in April when I first went to Coldwater Mountain Brewpub, Louie and I drank and ate our faces off after a long couple of days hiking and camping around Cheaha and the Pinhoti Trail. After leaving we were both craving ice cream. But not store bought or chain fast food ice cream, we wanted a small town ice cream shop. We found one only an eight minute drive from the brewpub in Oxford. First Class Ice Cream is incredible. All of their ice cream is crafted in-house as well as their confectionery toppings. Three words is all you need to know: Goat Milk Caramel.
Address:
1208 Walnut Ave
Anniston, AL 36201
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/DrinkColdwater
Mad Scientists Make for Great Stories
By Ian Guevara
“Why ya taking notes there?” the bearded man sitting at the tap room bar asks me.
I’m slightly uncomfortable answering him. Not that I’m embarrassed by my writing or what I’m trying to accomplish, but more because I don't think that I’ve earned the right to call myself a writer. Who am I to usurp a title held by some of my favorite figures? I’m an amatuer at best. Doing this for fun. But I want people to read this, to share in my adventures.
These thoughts race through my mind as I struggle to answer.
“Writing for my brewery review blog,” I stumble into the answer. It's the appropriate one, but as much as I try to exhibit confidence and charm, I’m a neurotic fool like the rest of the Earth’s population.
Low Road Brewing - Hammond, LA
We’re at Low Road Brewery in Hammond, Louisiana. Again, at my side is Jonathan. Dude’s a trooper. We already got a little toasty at Gnarly Barley earlier, but braver men have fought against the armies of darkness for my freedom to drink a beer and review it. Who am I to forsake those sacrifices?
Jonathan is always willing and ready for adventure. Even ones doomed for failure.
We were determined to hammock camp on top of Wayah Bald in Western North Carolina. Furthermore, we wanted to hammock inside the tower sitting atop the mountain. Built in the 1930s by the Civilian Conservation Corps, the tower leaves a medieval visage from the parking lot. Just the type of shelter our heroes would seek out. The tower was nearly destroyed in 2016 by a fire that ravaged the Western North Carolina Appalachians. But by 2020 when Jonathan, “Homelessman” Chris, Louie, and I arrived at Wayah, the tower was restored to its previous glory.
Wyah Tower that very day, before… THE CLOUD.
It started off as a beautiful day on top of the mountain. The blue skies amplified the haze of the Blue Ridge Mountains, the sun was showing, birds were chirping, the world was out oyster. Then the cloud rolled in. Not clouds; that would almost imply that they would roll in then out. No. A cloud… one big, wet, and windy cloud. The cloud rolled in and brought an endless barrage of thick mist and rain. It never stopped. It was relentless, but so was I.
I wanted to camp on top of that damn mountain and in that damn tower.
“Hey man, the Wayah Bald shelter is only a half mile down the trail, let's just go there,” Louie suggested.
“That sounds like a solid plan,” Jonathan agreed.
“No. I can make this work,” I declared.
I ran back to the truck and pulled out a massive roll of visqueen I brought with me. It was left over from when I repainted the walls of my condo three years previously. I lugged it along on this trip as a precaution against the weather of the Nantahala National Forest. You never know when you’ll be stuck in a cloud.
“We will wrap the tower!” My logic was sound and terribly flawed simultaneously. For seven years I worked in the warehouse at Massey’s Outfitters in New Orleans. Every day I would plastic wrap pallets full of product in a tight, almost waterproof cube that could withstand my, shall I say, erratic driving of the company Penske truck. My vision was clear… at least in my head: we will wrap the tower like a pallet of boxes and sleep soundly, protected from the elements.
Weather, fate, and time were not on my side. Neither was common sense. It was a terribly stupid idea. What the hell was I thinking?
To my comrade’s credit, they agreed to give it the old college try. As we attempted to wrap the tower, the wind would catch the visqueen like a pirate’s sail, flapping and fluttering, clearly the language of nature telling me “nope”. For an hour we tried to accomplish my silly vision. The sun was falling and precious time to set up an actual camp was vanishing.
“I think it's time to give it up, dude,” Jonathan said.
“No, we can do this, we just have to -” a massive gust of wind and mist slap away an entire section we managed to cover as I attempt to finish my thought.
“Yeah, it's over.”
We set up camp in the dark, off the side of the parking lot of the tower. Cold and wet. Yet despite defeat, we still had fun. No matter how disastrous an adventure may be, there’s always a lesson. Mine was simple: You can't wrap a lookout tower in visqueen.
Low Road Brewery sits in an old storage facility about 2 miles from downtown Hammond. If you blink you’ll miss it. The entrance to the tap room is almost hidden as if it's a speakeasy and you’re trying to evade old smokey. But inside is an efficient and modern establishment with strong wooden tables, cozy seating, and a back portion that displays various tanks with colorful lights like it's the brewer’s version of Studio 54. All I needed was Grandmaster Flash’s “White Line” playing and I’d be at home.
Low Road provides quite the selection of beers with an interesting collection of flavor combinations. You have to give the brewers credit here, they are experimenting and trying different strategies. As always with experiments, some succeed and some fail… visqueen anyone?
The first flight consisted of “Honeycomb Hideout”, “Lemon Blueberry Blonde”, “Ride of the Kooshma”, and “Crystal Lake Campfire”. Honeycomb Hideout is an American Wheat Ale that's very sweet with its initial taste. The honey definitely dominates the flavors here. But it's not crispy as one would expect from a wheat ale, and there’s no citrus flavor to balance out the sweetness of the honey. Conversely, the Lemon Blueberry Blonde is a Blond Ale very crispy. It starts off sweet and allows the crisp to follow leaving a delightful floral aftertaste. While blonde ales are certainly “Dad Beer” territory, this doesn’t fit in due to the exotic aftertaste. This is still a beer that could be drunk all day without batting an eye.
The Ride of Kooshma is a Hefewizen that’s crispy that has sweet and fruity notes like a classic wheat beer containing notes of banana. Chasing your taste buds, like Jason Voorhees, is Crystal Lake Campfire Smoked Peach Sour. Pucker up because the sourness will slash you. It's almost too sour, which is something I never thought I would feel about a sour beer. I think the smokey flavor hides the sweetness that would balance out the sourness.
God help me. Have I had too much beer today? I swear this is my last flight for the day. I’ve now discovered I’m a two brewery-a-day reviewer. No more. Like the sith. Anymore and the review will become muddled in rambling stories… (you’re still reading right?)
The final flight was an appropriate rainbow of deep brown, bright red, soft yellow, and old gold. In the glasses sat “Questions Without Answers”, “Summer Vacation”, “Rebellious Redhead”, and “Smooth Operator”. Questions Without Answers is a golden IPA starts off sweet and finishes with a slight bitter aftertaste, but leaves you wanting another sample. Do I like IPAs now? Am I in a different universe? One where I don't scoff at bitter beers?
Summer Vacation is the star of all my flights of the day. It's a coconut, pineapple, and lime sour that definitely punches you right in the sour receptors. Tastes like an Atomic Warhead, but is balanced out by the sweetness of the pineapple, leaving a splendid pina colada aftertaste. Rebellious Redhead is a solid “Dad Beer”, nothing special but done well and shows off the brewer’s craftsmanship. Smooth Operator is a thicc with two C's American Porter. It contains a light chocolate flavor and a dry maltiness. I would consider this a desert beer.
Low Ride Brewery is open on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 4pm-9pm and from Friday through Sunday from 12pm-9pm. It's a sleek and modern venue with an extremely courteous and knowledgeable staff. A very welcoming establishment whose brewers are ever trying to experiment and take risks in flavors like Doc Brown or Victor Von Frankenstein (the Gene Wilder version).
Mad scientists make for great stories, and the beers here tell good ones.
Address:
1110 C M Fagan Drive
Hammond, LA 70403
Social Media:
https://www.lowroadbrewing.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Lowroadbrewing/
Community on Tap
By Jonathan Cranfield
I’m not the history teacher on this blog. Ian is the one responsible for molding young minds despite all the time he spends malting his own at breweries. However, I’ll kick this article off with a little history lesson anyway. Beer has been around for centuries. Brewing seems to have begun nearly 5,000 years ago in Babylonia where wild grain plants were plentiful and it hasn’t stopped since. There were a great many varieties of beer in ancient Egypt designated for ceremony, celebration, and friendship. The malt beverage is noted in the histories of almost every European nation. There are so many things in life that are deeply rooted to the human experience and they aren’t all ingrained somewhere deep in genetic code. Some things that bind us as a species are the products, goods, and services we enjoy and I think beer is unrivaled in that realm.
Beer has some influence in the lives of almost everyone all over the world. Everyone has a story about beer. Most people can tell you when they had their first and exactly what it was. More than a few brave souls can tell you exactly when they had their last. I’m not the kind of guy to say “No good story ever started with a glass of milk.” Have you seen A Clockwork Orange? I will say I have plenty of great stories that start with a glass of beer and a lot of those start on a stool at breweries. That malty golden liquid is something we can all relate to in some way. Beer is community on tap.
Walk into any brewery in the United States and I guarantee there is someone sitting in a bar stool who will tell you all about the first time they stopped in and why this is their favorite one. If you walk into Gnarly Barley, that person might very well be me. Breweries have their own character but something they all have in common is a sense of community. Craftsmanship and relaxation are things that people admire and seek out and these wonderful places offer both. You can take a load off after a hard day's work (or maybe a full day's hike) and enjoy a cold refreshing drink. Beyond that there is built in conversation. You can’t sample a variety of beers in a place like this without talking about what went into making them and how they are just so different. My glass might be full of a gose that I love because it’s just so refreshing but gives a tart taste on the end to keep it interesting. While you slug down an amber because you were in the mood for something classic.
I made my first hiking trip to North Carolina in 2011 for Billy Healy’s Eagle Scout project. Billy had organized his troop and a few other scouts like me to restore a section of the Appalachian Trail. I was 17 years old and had done plenty of day hikes but backpacking and extended periods on the trail were a whole new concept to me. One that I would fall in love with and continue to pursue with a lot of guys you’ve probably already heard about on this blog. Mike, Danny, Louie, Mr. Vic, and Ian’s grandfather Mr. Groome were all there. That was the trip when I entered this family I’ve stuck with ever since.
North Carolina - Billy’s Eagle Scout project 2011
I have this amazing group of friends that was brought together by the outdoors and that has remained an adhesive force in our relationship for years and, when you spend so much time together you inevitably develop some of the same passions. Beer and specifically breweries have become a mutual passion for many of us. It started in the mountains of North Carolina and it goes with us everywhere. Every trip we plan, we look for the local breweries. We want to know what's popular there and how long these establishments have been around. We want to meet other people who share our hobbies. We want to be a part of their community.
Balsam Falls Brewing Company can be found right on Main St. in Sylva, NC. At this point we’ve stopped in enough summers that when June and July come rolling around they are expecting us. They don’t always remember our names but they greet us with a smile when we walk through the door, know we all want flights, and want to know what we’ve been up to the last year and what breweries we’ve visited since we made the trip out. BAM! Community on Tap!
We made a winter trip to the same area in 2020 to celebrate New Years, and the folks at Balsam Falls were just as happy to see us if not a little surprised to see us when there was still snow on the ground. They filled us in on how the brews on tap were a little different for the winter and a few of the employees proudly showed off the beers they had the honor of naming. I introduced my girlfriend to this pack of semi strangers and somehow we all got along like old friends. That's the power of common interest and a little bit of booze to keep the ball rolling.
North Carolina - December 2020
What I get from walking into a brewery is probably similar to what a lot of folks get walking into a church. I’m certainly not filled with the Holy Spirit and I’ve never been driven to genuflect or bow my head in reverence but I do feel warmth and a connection to the people around me. It could be the brewery back home where everyone knows my name or a microbrew 2,000 miles away and that same feeling will still kindle and then roar to flame as I sit down with my first pint. We don’t (usually) sing songs, and we offer no prayers but, we do shake hands with our neighbors, pay tithing (to the tip jar), there is usually some sign of peace, and maybe we find a little bit of God there. I don’t really believe in God in any traditional sense but I do feel power in the things that bind us. I believe in the human spirit to find connection and lift each other up. I believe in community and I think it's a great thing wherever you find it.
Whoever you are, no matter what you do, find your community. Find it on the trail. Find it in the office. Find it in your church, synagogue, or mosque. Find it in a skatepark. Find it at a book club meeting or a community sports league. I’ll keep mine on tap!
Renegade Brewing
By Ian Guevara
Zac Caramonta is a renegade, making renegade beers his own way. And it's successful.
He’s bearded, sweating profusely from the brutal summer heat and sports the tattoos one would expect for a renegade. With a beer in his hand and a hint of mischievousness in his eyes, Zac has created an empire from humble beginnings, hard work, a little luck, and a love of beer.
The Man, the Myth, the Legend: Zac Caramonta
“I’m not an entrepreneur, I’m a brewer,” Zac says defiantly as he looks over his massive operation nestled only a mile outside of downtown Hammond, Louisiana. His brewery, Gnarly Barley, has exploded over the past five years into one of the top distributors of beer in Louisiana.
Zac has done it his way and that attitude has been adopted by every single person working in his facility. Even the cans carry that mantra and have the slogan, “Doing it our way in Hammond, LA.”
If you look at the names of Zac’s beers, you’ll see something distinctly different from other locally brewed beers in South Louisiana: they’re not all named after cultural or geographic icons of Louisiana. That’s by design.
“So honestly when we opened eight years ago, everything in the beer industry was trying to be as local as possible.”
“It was like pump local, pump local, which is a lot of our industry. The food and beverage industry is ‘connect yourself to local, connect yourself to the South’. Louisiana based cajun, creole, that whole thing.”
“And in fact when we first started shopping distribution and looking at opening the brewery, one of the comments was that our name wasn't local enough and that we wouldn't be able to succeed without basically pimping locality.”
“So I kind of took that as bullshit. I don’t need to lean on that ‘everybody has to know that’s from here to buy my product’. I want the product to transcend that you’re only buying it because it's local.”
Walk down the grocery aisle in any store in Louisiana and a majority of the local beers have the same types of names and looks, pawning off this region’s love of self branding. Names that revolve around neighborhoods, streets, and bodies of water spill out and flood your brain with those nice little comforts. And often you keep drinking these beers even if they taste foul because the can looks cool or the name is catchy.
“I didn’t think we needed to fall back on it. We were told we had to, that is what was going on is local, local, local. We decided to go a little bit different.”
That same attitude also lent itself to the naming of the brewery. Yet another exercise in trying to connect to the community through nostalgia, yet again, the renegade brewer went his own way. He named his brewery Gnarly Barley, a reflection of his two great passions: skateboarding and brewing.
“From the very beginning we were like, you know what, you don't like my name? Well, fuck it. I’m a skateboarder, I’m a brewer, I’m naming my fucking brewery Gnarly Barley whether you like it or not,” Zac states, ever the renegade.
Quality over quantity, uniqueness over conventionality, these are the cornerstones of Gnarly Barley. Zac does not seem to care for or about placating to yesteryear, pushing the envelope like a skater pushing ground. He wants to create the best beer he can.
“We’re not going to brew for the local [community’s nostalgia]. We’re going to brew beers that we love and we’re going to bring it to the local community. Hopefully they’ll get it and enjoy it.”
And that passion for innovation, quality, and uniqueness led to Jucifer, arguably one of Louisiana’s most popular beers and the beer that clearly shows that Zac’s vision was the right course to follow.
“We were the first to put up a shelf-stable hazy IPA in Louisiana.”
Jucifer Hazy IPA is the pillar that Gnarly Barley stands on. Its flavor is only barely rivaled by the can’s artwork. It’s the beer that put Zac’s brewery on the map. From its opening in 2014 through 2017, Gnarly Barley was growing, but not at warp speed. Then Jucifer was introduced to Louisiana markets and everything changed.
“2015-2016 we hit our capacity, manufacturing-wise,” Zach noted. “The tap room started to bring in more cash so we bought more tanks. We added a canning line, bought two more tanks which doubled our capacity from 2,000 barrels to 4,000 barrels.”
“And then we released Jucifer. And from there to basically 2019 it was hold on to your shit. Things went nuts,” said Zac. In that time Gnarly Barley garnered a “Top 50 Fastest Growing Brewery” by the Brewers Association in 2017 and 2018.
With rapid growth comes the fundamental decision that all business owners must make: stay in your comfort zone or expand. Our renegade chose to expand.
“By 2019 we were buying equipment as fast as we could afford it. I was just paying cash for tanks to get them in here quickly. And that was just focusing on keeping up with production of Jucifer.”
Gnarly Barley now covers almost half a city block and is ever growing. Zac has bought buildings, leased land, and has plans to keep growing. It’s as if staying in one place would lead to extinction and he works with that sense of urgency and passion. The growth of the brewery has added another feather in Zac’s cap: a designation change.
“So right now we’re only in Louisiana. This year we will pass up microbrewery and be considered a regional brewery.” Zac says, brimming with pride. “But we’re only in one state so it's kind of a funny term. Hey, you’re a regional brewery, but you only distribute in one state. By production levels we’re a regional brewery, but we’re a very large single-state brewery for sure.”
The accomplishments of Gnarly Barley are a team effort. Zac is only one half of the equation in the initial growth of the brewery. Cari Caramonta, Zac’s wife and partner in crime, is the co-founder and Vice President, working with Zac on recipes, marketing, and tasting.
The brewery employs a little over twenty people and each one of them carries Zac and Cari’s passion for beer and quality.
“We have passionate folks here.” Zac points out. “Everybody who has come along has been so into it that we exude that we give a shit and we’re going to make the best beer we can possibly make.”
Great leaders have an eye for talent and know when to allow that talent to flourish. Zac hit the jackpot when he made his first hire. All he was looking for was someone to clean the kegs, instead what he received was a beer savant who would one day become his brewmaster.
“Joey was my first hire and he came in started cleaning kegs, worked his way in as a seller, then started taking over brewing and eventually I slowly relinquished water creating over to him. And then his first recipe that he came up with for this brewery was Jucifer,” Zac laughs in recollection.
Zac doin’ it his way.
The renegade knew he caught lightning in a bottle and allowed himself to focus more on other aspects of the business and cultivate Joey’s talents.
“So after that I was like, “Hey man, how about you take over recipe creation?”
Since then, Zac hasn’t looked back and Gnarly Barley’s reputation and status has only grown. In 2021 alone, the brewery received many prominent awards nationally including being named “Brewery of the Year” by Beer Connoisseur Magazine, five silver medals in the USA BEER ratings, and gold medal from the 2021 U.S. Open Beer Championship for Jucifer IPA in the New England/Juicy IPA category.
Yet with the recognition nationally, Zac keeps a low profile at home. Like Batman, his identity as a renegade brewer remains a quasi-secret. Like all great leaders, he prefers to defer attention to others in his business and heaps effusive praise on their contributions. However, it still amuses him when old friends and acquaintances only just now realize that mild mannered Zac Caramonta is a master brewer.
“What’s funny is, I have guys and girls I went to high school with, friends of mine, people I’ve known for a long time, and I wasn't on social media so nobody knew what I was doing for a living at the time.” Zac chuckles, “They literally purchased our beer for years thinking we were a brewery out of California.”
That relative anonymity despite skyrocketing success is evidence to his renegade attitude and work ethic. His company makes beer his way and does it well. They’ve worked hard, built an incredible brand, and are determined to make quality beer their focus.
“We’re not trying to punch the clock and get beer out. We’re trying to make great beer.”
Quick Quotes:
Favorite beer:
“My favorite beer that Gnarly Barley ever created is not my creation, but its “Hypnic Jerk”. That's Joey, my head brewer's creation. It’s an English Barley Wine, which is odd because I’m definitely all hopps. I love hoppy beer, IPAs, but that one beer is, in my opinion, the best thing we’ve ever created.”
Least favorite beer ever created:
(Laughing)
“One of the worst beers we’ve ever made is on tap right now! It's one of the “Test Batch” IPAs. Those beers were never meant to be sold, we do these test batching things all the time, but sometimes we release it. Sometimes we use new hopp products. We put two new IPAs with these new products that are new to the manufactures and new to us, just trying to figure out how to use them. So it was a shot in the dark completely. One of them was super bitter and kind of weird, and the other one is a very bitter but it still should be way better.”
PUNK ROCK BREWING
By Ian Guevara
“Hey look,” Jonathan harps with a finger pointed, “It's a Gnarly Barley family.”
I look toward the large garage doors that open into the tap room and I see the living impact that Gnarly Barley has had in its community. A full family rolls into the tap room each of them, father, mother, two kids, and dog fully clad in Gnarly Barley merch. The dad, I’m assuming, reaches for the Skater Aid while the kids begin to paint in their little paint-by-numbers sets.
Along the walls of Gnarly Barley rests works of art to amuse any soul. From the trippy artwork that has become the brewery’s calling card to portraits, drawings, and scribbles created by the patrons.
The wild and colorful artwork transcends the decor and infuses itself into the spirit of Gnarly Barley. This is never more so exemplified than the artwork on each can of beer. Some of the cans are psychedelic trips. Staring at a can may induce a flashback or two, but have no fear, the beer and atmosphere is a safe place. Jucifer’s juicy devil tubing down the river inspires a mischievous yet mellow feeling. Skater Aid’s clashing yellows and purples and hands raised to an angelic skateboard encourage rebelliousness. Salvador Dali would be proud of the work. I mean maybe, I didn’t know the guy, but I imagine he would
As the kid’s work through their own works of art, I’m now more convinced than ever that they’ll be affixed upon the tap room’s walls as well.
“This place is bumping for a Wednesday afternoon,” Jonathan says as he sips into beer.
Jonathan is my partner in crime in this brewery writing and website adventure. His media creativity and savviness are unparalleled. The logo? Jonathan. The website? Jonathan. Keeping my sanity? Beer… and Jonathan.
Moreover, Jonathan has been a part of many of my wild adventures out in the wilderness, in the city, and obviously through breweries.
Every beer is its own adventure, its own journey, and its own story. With each taste comes a different memory and with each smell comes a different emotion. It’s the recall of those thoughts that fuels my quest to taste beer. And in this particular moment, as Jonathan graciously uses his down time to help me, I recall a time when he needed my help on his journey. But like all things, helping him impacted me in profound ways too.
I had just spent my first year as a teacher and was planning to spend a summer at a camp where I spent nearly thirteen summers of my youth and early adulthood cheerfully laboring under the brutal Mississippi sun. My plan was simple, work inside as the commissioner and run a program that caters to the adult volunteers.
All that changed when Jonathan bursted through the door at our mutual friend, Mike’s house.
“How’s it going, my future Aquatics Director?” Jonathan exclaimed with a smile.
I took one look at him, then turned my head to see if he was talking to someone else in the house of whom I was not aware.
“Who the fuck are to talking to?”
“You man, you’re going to be great!”
Aquatics Director Ian with his staff.
From there my life changed tremendously. I discovered a love for all things water-related I never thought I possessed. In the thirteen previous summers I worked in various areas from Shooting Sports to the Dinning Hall and served in multiple director positions from Ecology/Conservation to Scouting Skills. But never… NEVER… in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to don the red bathing suit and whistle.
I now love swimming, boating, and have an irrational obsession over safety at every pool I visit. But the swimming part has been the real life changer. It's the reason why I’ve lost nearly eighty pounds in the last six years. And maybe why I’ll live past the age my dad passed. Forty is not far away, I better keep swimming.
Gnarly Barley Brewery sits in a spacious open warehouse only a mile or so from downtown Hammond, Louisiana. If a brewery could be labeled “punk rock” this would be the place. Magnificent gonzo artwork created by the owner, employees, and patrons displays at every corner of the tap room. It’s an inviting environment that just beckons for craft beer and camaraderie.
We sit down for an interview with the owner, Zac Caramonta (stay tuned for that exclusive in the future) and I taste my first beer from the multitude of taps that display every delicious brew.
Skater Aid is a light Italian Pilsner that deserves a place in the “Dad Beers” hall of fame. Incredibly crispy and light, it’s the perfect beer to guzzle on a hot summer day. It also has egalitarian notes as a portion of its proceeds go to fund skate parks and programs throughout the New Orleans area.
After the interview I settled into my first flight, a beautiful rainbow display of craftsmanship and art. “Cherry Bounce” Berliner Weisse, “Cerveza Your Facea” Mexican Lager, “Jucifer” Hazy IPA, and “Peanut Butter Korova Milk Porter” a Baltic Porter. Cherry Bounce is another light and crispy beer that’s tarty and slightly fruity making it a perfect “outside beer”. Cerveza Your Facea makes for a flavorful Mexican lager that has a lingering and wonderful aftertaste. If there was ever a beer to drink during a ballgame, this is the one. I can clearly down several of these to gather the confidence to let professional coaches and athletes know what they’re doing wrong.
I never thought I’d say this in my life, but I’m coming around on IPAs. I guess the more I drink them, the more I’ve begun to appreciate their quality and flavor profiles. Jucifer, the flagship of Gnarly Barley, is already one of my favorite IPAs. This beer is one of the most popular beers in Louisiana for a reason. All the hints of the fruits are there and none of them are battling for supremacy. They all get along. It has only a slight bitterness, which is a plus for me.
The Peanut Butter Korova Milk Porter is a good swing at a Baltic Porter. The smell hits you first before the lips lock into the flavor. Both are excellent combinations for sweet and smokey. The peanut butter stands out more than the chocolate and hits on all cylinders with its aftertaste.
My final flight consisted of “Good Seed” Berliner Weisse Sour, “Catahoula Common” American Lager, “Planet Juice” New England Hazy IPA, and “Mocha Moon” Imperial Stout. Good Seed is a guava, blueberry, and raspberry sour that was excellent and my hands down favorite of the afternoon. Good Seed strong sour beer with a punch that's not overpowered by the sweetness of the guava, blueberry, and raspberry. And the raspberry is definitely the dominant flavor.
Catahoula Common is hands down another “Dad Beer” great. It’s a crispy California Common Lager that every dad can drink all day and never walk away from. Planet Juice is a pleasing Hazy IPA with a tropical punch that’s not crazy bitter, but definitely has that IPA bitter hit.
If you don't like coffee then stay away from the Mocha Moon, but if you do, you’ll be pleased and over the moon (buh dum tiss). The coffee flavor is NOT understated, it's THERE and doesn’t go away. There’s no bitterness from the coffee because it’s balanced out by the chocolaty mocha sweetness.
Gnarly Barley is open everyday from 12pm - 7pm from Sunday through Thursday and 12pm - 9pm on Fridays and Saturdays. It has a spacious outdoor venue that is perfect when the temperature is not equal to the face of the Sun. They deploy multiple food trucks and have live music every Friday and Saturday. And you can book a tour between Tuesdays and Fridays, but have free tours with no reservations on Saturdays at 1pm and 2pm. But the artwork on display throughout the tap room is an experience all in of itself.
Why go to an art gallery? Salvador Dali’s spirit lives here and he’s staying for the beer.
Address:
Gnarly Barley Brewing Co.
1709 Corbin Road
Hammond, Louisiana 70403
Website and Social Media:
https://gnarlybeer.com/home.html
https://www.instagram.com/gnarlybarley/
https://twitter.com/gnarlybarley
https://www.facebook.com/gnarlybarley
Pints and Princesses
By Ian Guevara
“Yeah… that’s definitely a princess party,” Will says as we enter Urban South Brewery escaping the brutal summer New Orleans heat.
Will and I are meeting to hash out the details of the website on which I hope you’re currently reading this. In fact this whole venture is his inspiration. It was at his wedding last April where we were talking about my usual summer plans of touring breweries in the mountains of Western North Carolina. Will, and his best man Jacob, both looked at me with incredulous eyes as if to say, “Why haven’t you done this yet?’ and told me emphatically to create a social media account to record my journeys.
The Pose
Inspiration arrives in a variety of forms, it can be natural through a process of self reflection and meditation or simply by the suggestion of a friend. In my case it was death by a thousand beers. Social media is a drug, and part of my inspiration comes from the attention I first drew, then craved, over the pictures I posted of my experiences at breweries in my travels. So after weeks of mulling it over, while swimming laps in the pool, I succumbed to the call of writing into the ether about my love of beer and breweries.
Naturally, our conversation morphs from that of web design and content game plans to Ninja Turtles and Star Wars. True erudites of culture.
For the next half hour we wax poetically over the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series, the potential illogical story gaps concerning a show about space wizards, and the incredible likeability of the early 2010s Ninja Turtle show that aired on Nickelodeon.
“When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master… How does that fit?”
“Hayden Christenson has a chance to redeem himself.”
“No it was CLEARLY poor writing and direction by George Lucas”
“I loved Sean Astin playing Raphael.”
“That show was a great combination between the original comics and the 80s cartoon.”
“Ice cream kitty!”
Men of class and sophistication.
As we settle into our first set of beers, a hungover Elsa walks through the door. Sunglasses on, disheveled platinum wig, what I imagine is a college student working her side hustle on a Sunday morning after dragging herself out of bed after a bender at The Boot. A dozen screaming eight year olds stampede at Princess “Mailed-It-In” whose hungover face displays inaudible horror. Will and I sip your beers in amusement.
Urban South is an amusing, friendly, and welcoming establishment with a cornucopia of activities inside the massive Tchoupitoulas Street warehouse to stimulate even the dullest of senses. Founded by Jacob Landry, a former teacher and administrator, Urban South Brewery creates a variety of beers inspired by Landry’s year spent in Europe.
Urban South Brewery - New Orleans, LA
Sticking with the standard two-flight strategy, I aimed to run the gamut of different beers from sours, to IPAs, to pilsners. I have to be honest, Paradise Park Lager is one of my favorite beers to ever exist. Sure it falls into the “Dad Beer” territory, but it may be the perfect lager these lips have ever tasted.
Most craft beers are tasty, but cannot be consumed in mass quantities. That’s why “Dad Beers” are important. Those are the beers you can drink all day and never get tired of. When LSU won the 2019 national championship, there beside me was an empty case of Paradise Park which I ended up wearing like a hat only moments after it was completed.
The first flight consisted of the “Beaming Sour”, “Dad’s Day IPA”, “Big Poppa's Pils”, and the “Peanut Butter and Jelly Porter”.
So let me say this for the folks in the back: A sour is supposed to be sour… not sweet… sour… Beaming was sour and stupendous! Described as a blueberry, strawberry, and raspberry sour, it hits on all those notes. Beaming was tangy, tasty, and tarty. All of its fruity notes were clearly tasted and at no point overshadowed the sourness.
The other beers in the flight were no less satisfying than Beaming, but were clearly overshadowed. I can’t emphasize enough my biased opinion that I love sours and goses and run from the bitterness of the IPA. So I had to prepare myself to taste the IPA. I took deep breaths, counted to 5, and dove in. And it was bitter, that bitterness just slams you. The hops are certainly real leaving the lasting signature aftertaste of an IPA.
To round out the rest, the Big Poppa’s Pils was a refreshing beer that after immediately drinking it made me realize that it's the perfect beer to drink after a long afternoon mowing the lawn. The Peanut Butter and Jelly Porter was solid, hitting on all the flavors it promised including a hint of banana as a nice aftertaste.
The second flight comprised of “Drip Au Lait Sour”, the “Sunshine Haze IPA”, the “Bhramari Belgian Strong”, the “Rocket Pop Gose”, and the “HTX: Triple IPA”
I don't think I have ever tasted anything quite like the Drip Au Lait. It's a coffee, raspberry, boysenberry sour and I still can't wrap my mind around it, it was super tasty and unique. None of the flavors overpower each other. It's not super sour, sweet but not too sweet, tarty, and simply refined in flavor and texture.
The Bhramari is a solid outing as a Belgian strong ale, that's tasty and crispy on the backend. Nothing to write home about, but definitely a beer that would pair well with a heavy meal.
Rocket Pop is another Urban South staple that is simply a favorite of mine. It’s a light, airy, salty, and refreshing gose that’s the perfect summer beverage. The Rocket Pop is definitely a beer that’s perfect for the beach.
I was adventurous tasting three IPAs… I dont think I have ever had three IPAs in one sitting. While Dad’s Day was super bitter, Sunshine Haze and HTX: Triple have subtle bitterness and lean heavier into other qualities. Sunshine Haze is sweet, candy-like, and definitely hits the creamsicle notes it advertises. It’s not that bitter nor does it leave a bitter aftertaste leaving a balance of sweetness and bitterness. HTX: Triple’s taste is good and doesn’t have a harsh bitter aftertaste with a subtle sweetness that was surprising and a little refreshing.
Urban South Brewery is open every day of the week, generally from 12 to 8, but the hours vary. The venue includes an arcade, flat screens at every corner showing sports and movies, a food truck outside, a Dim Sum station inside, and a bounce house that I somehow overlooked over for the first hour of drinking.
And don't forget the princess parties, you can book those too.
Address:
1645 Tchoupitoulas St. New Orleans, LA 70130
Website:
https://urbansouthbrewery.com/
Social Media:
https://untappd.com/UrbanSouthBrewery
https://www.facebook.com/urbansouthbeer
https://www.instagram.com/urbansouthbeer/
https://twitter.com/urbansouthbeer
